Determination – Your Power, Your Journey

All to often we allow the power of self fulfilling prophecy to work against us, for a job interview we will continually think we are going to be late and end actually making ourselves late, or we convince ourselves that the guy or girl that we like would never like us so we don’t make an effort for fear of failure and guess what ? they never notice us!

Internal dialogues and self talk happen all day, every day, if we are aware of it or not, decisions are made on a subconscious level that determine the directions our lives take, with the exception of the very urgent “fight or flight” decisions these are all made with Reason and after an internal dialogue where we weigh up the chances of success versus failure and then act accordingly.

The problem with these conversations is that for most us they are biased against us this is most likely due to self preservation, and is not something that we all feel to equal measure.

Believe in Yourself!

How many times have you heard this, just believe in yourself and all will be well, it is more difficult however than it sounds as this requires the changing of your whole inner dialogue, you must reverse a subconscious level of thinking (not easily done) and you must find a way to remove the limits that you have set without knowing it, I personally am a firm believer in the power of the human spirit, years of observation have seen me notice that on some level my inner dialogue, my narrative that exists only in the deepest parts of my mind, influence and shape the world around me, and very rarely for the better I can tell you.

Break the cycle

Human behaviour is learned through pattern and repetition, for both motor skills and thought process, we ultimately become a product of our upbringing because this is the behaviour we see everyday, and so it becomes ingrained into our thought processes and our personalities, but we can change it, we can make a shift from one cycle to another, there is no shortage of research on making and breaking habits and one in particular found that it took nearly 12 weeks to form a habit and some people took nearly 254 days so don’t be too concerned if you have been telling yourself in the mirror that you are great for three days and you don’t feel any different.

Make Your Gestures Big

I used to be a nightclub doorman (bear with me) and I feel that tackling this situation is a lot like that, by the end of the night people were largely inebriated and their thought processes were impaired, conscious thought was cloudy and they were mostly running on sub-conscious activity to find their way home, my job, among others was to clear out the bar / club at the end of the night and I found after working this job for some twenty years that there was a very effective and distinct way to deal with this situation, you see shouting and hollering was not the answer, because hostility is just returned and talking quietly and not really making your presence felt was also pointless because you weren’t enough of an annoyance to cause an effect,

The most effective way to deal with this was to stand just that bit closer than you would normally, so you are not threatening but you are completely unavoidable and speak loudly and calmly repeatedly requesting that they leave as the night is over, and if you kept your cool and were patient the message got through within about 5 minutes for the lest drunk and the ones that could hardly stand got the idea within about 20 minutes.

My point is that I was dealing with people in the same mindset as we are when addressing our sub-conscious and trying to change what it wants to do, we are comfortable where we are and we feel safe because we are familiar with our surroundings, conscious thought that can reason that change is a positive is not in play and so we do not want to move, getting angry with ourselves is futile because we just become angry back and break all communication and trying to change a habit by gently whispering to ourselves each day just won’t cut it, we won’t hear the whispers,

The only way is speak clearly and unmistakably every time you get the chance, challenging all the things that you are convinced you are no good at, and don’t stop, don’t give up on yourself.

Determination is measured by the progress you make through adversity.

Me

Technique

Effectiveness is often mirrored by simplicity, I wouldn’t go downt he route of tying string round your finger or setting alarms to sit and concentrate on bigging yourself up, rather you need to start to listen, listen to your inner dialogues and start to recognise where they are working against you, and simply change the dialogue, as I have said previously change “I can’t” to “I can’t at the minute”, change “I am not good enough” to “I am not ready yet”, leave everything open ended, without the ability for your inner dialogue to close the door on a discussion you can modify the direction and message until you naturally follow the more positive path, take time to meditate, even if it sounds a little hokey and you feel silly doing it, by removing the outside noise of everyday life, even for 5 minutes, you can concentrate on what you are thinking and feeling and challenge all these beliefs you have about yourself,

Spirituality is not just banging gongs and Joss sticks (sorry if I offended anybody, seriously if you want to bang a gong then crack on!) it is about harnessing your own spirit and gaining from it, the foundation of success is much deeper than a bank account, but that account is much more achievable from a basis of inner strength.

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Quitting is not always a bad thing.

Motivators and influencers will constantly shout at you that you should never quit, we are told that if we just work hard at something then success will come, sadly this is not the case and we need to try and identify when this point has been reached and how to bow out gracefully taking the lessons you have learned and using them to move forward in another direction.

Are you one of those people that just won’t quit? constantly banging away day after day not getting anywhere and making yourself depressed at the lack of progress and tired of failure, if you are then you are not alone, the huge runaway success of the internet and social medias early adopters has spurred on a global group of gold diggers all trying to make their name and carve out their own slice of paradise, the hours that go into the videos and the editing and the uploading, days trying to write blogs and researching different subjects only to get no actual views just likes so people get their avatar on your page should somebody else happen past it and think to click on their link.

And I can’t blame anybody for doing this, we all want to become rich and we all want the good life, believe it or not I do still think it is achievable, you just have to know when to quit something that is not working and replace it with a new direction and a new potential.

So I had a thought and have come up with what I think to be indicators that it is time to find another path, not everybody will agree with these and some of them are a bit hard to hear but ultimately as Paul Newman says in the color of money “find something you are good at and be the best and you will make money”.

Are you happy ?

Well are you? honestly? does what you are doing make you happy, if not then it may well be time to move on, emotions are transmitted very easily through the way somebody writes or holds themselves on screen, or even talks in a podcast, if you are not happy how can you expect anybody else to buy into you ?

Is it your passion ?

A passion is an easy thing to quantify, is this something that you would do even if there were no potential money in it ? I know this sounds like are you happy ? but it is not, eating large quantities of chocolate makes me happy but I am not passionate about it, I am passionate about health and education and the things that money provides, I am also very passionate about American Cars, huge V8’s that breathe and shake the ground as they pass, the subjects you are passionate about you will talk about for hours to anybody at anytime whether they like it or not!

Is it honest ?

By this I don’t mean are you trying to con anybody, what I mean is best explained by example, if there was a guru out there that claimed by simply standing on a carrot for 10 minutes a day you could flush all the toxins from your body extending your life and happiness, would you be able to extol the virtues of the system without trying it for yourself ? conversely if it turned out to be true could you push the subject even in the face of the opposition that it would surely get ?

Can you accept that you are not good enough ?

This is possibly the hardest thing to accept because we are told that we can do anything if we just try, and I suppose I do buy into the idea that with enough practice you can become proficient at just about anything, but we have to be practical as well, this whole blog and site is about trying to rise above normality, to become the best we can be and to make a future filled with life rather than slavery and toil at the hands of our masters, here is a secret, I suck at playing guitar, I still do it but I am slow and clunky and just haven’t got that spark of ability it takes to become a guitarist, I can however play along to quite a few songs and if you heard me you would think I was OK, but I could never make a living out of it because I am simply nowhere near good enough, you don’t have to look far to see how good life can be if you are the best at playing guitar, I am sure Steve Vai often thanks whatever force made him pick up a six string and start playing.

That is really it, there is no section on how long you have been trying because in truth that is irrelevant things will take as long as they take, and as long as you haven’t got a bizarre idea like literally building a staircase to heaven you will get to where you want to be, but without the above I really don’t see that it is possible.

An important point to remember is that quitting does not mean failure it simply means a new beginning and a wiser traveller.

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Amazon Seller – free guide to get started.

There are hundreds of courses out there to help you become an Amazon seller and on the whole they cost thousands to access, I know that you only get out of life what you put in but that does not mean we need to over extend ourselves or use money unnecessarily to learn something that can be picked up for free, sure if you were to be paying a couple of hundred pounds for a course then it would probably save you that much in errors further down the line, but when we start talking four and five thousand dollars then I really do think you would have to really screw up on a monumental scale to even up the balance.

I am not saying that these courses are all worthless, I am just pointing out that they are expensive and the majority of us have been driven to look for a side hustle or a change in income streams through lack of available funds, not through and abundance of money and boredom.

So I started looking around to see if there were any free reliable alternatives to some of the expensive courses, and I found this site https://tinuiti.com/blog/amazon/sell-on-amazon-uk/ the guide seems really thorough and one of the first things that I noticed was that I actually had no idea of the prerequisites of opening a seller account on Amazon, I also found another site as an alternative to Junglescout this is https://sellics.com they not only have a 14 day trial offer but they have some free resources including keyword search for your chosen products.

Another challenge I have is the US centric nature of this business, so I will be spending some time researching how much of an impact this will actually have on me as a UK resident and if there are any workarounds to those issues.

Turns out there are, in future posts I will going through setting up my seller account from a UK perspective and hopefully making a profit.

That’s all for now…….

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You do need to be number 1 – trust me.

Popular culture has told us for years now that we do not have to be the best at what we do or strive to do, our education systems have largely developed a process by which the class progresses at the speed of the slowest pupil, this is has resulted in over inflated school ratings as the overall bar is lowered and a decrease in specialist subjects being taught at all as they give way to more general subjects that are harder to grade effectively as the factors for evaluation become vast through diversification of the subject matter.

But who actually suffers from this new way of working ? the educators and the governments around the world will have you believe that it makes for a more level playing field, that this kind of broad baseline teaching provides all pupils with the same opportunities, but the reality is something quite different, you see by creating an environment where everybody is taught at the same level in the same way with no recognition of aptitude does not create a level playing field rather it holds back the pupils that would excel and invariably gets them the reputation of troublemaker as boredom sets in, or it highlights the shortcomings of pupils that haven’t got an aptitude for the subject in front of a jury of the cruellest peers, children, so you can see how this is detrimental to both parties, the children that are bored have their future coloured by the term troublemaker, and are treated accordingly and the struggling kids start to lack confidence and become either shy or overly overt as a compensation, both scenarios achieve the exact opposite of the intended result.

This is largely a product of lack of money in the system, and in most cases a spin put on that lack of funding by governments trying to juggle ever decreasing budgets and ever increasing debt, but the irony here is that a countries wealth is a product of it’s population and it’s capability to participate on the world stage, so effectively we stay in a loop forevermore where we do not invest in youth to provide a better future for all, instead we choke the education system and make the youth fight for a future that is uncertain, and we wonder why they lack motivation.

This level playing field extends into adulthood as well, the evidence is excessive, people that did not do well at school becoming billionaires such as Sir Alan Sugar, 1 GCSE and he is worth 1.4 Billion, Steven Spielberg was rejected from film school initially, Deborah Meaden of Dragons Den fame left school before her A-levels and is now worth over 40 Million, and Sarah Millican Failed hers, what sets these people apart is that they pursued what they wanted to do and they did it with a goal in mind, to be the number 1 in their chosen field, now with the vast majority of these examples it could be argued if they are number one in their fields, possibly some people might not find Sarah Millican funny, or there may be people with more money than Deborah Meaden, but if we think about it we would all like to be a pound behind them, or make it as a performer, we just had it beaten out of us in our youth.

That is why I say you DO need to be number one, in your own mind at least, you need to strive everyday to be number one at what you want to do, because if you don’t believe that people in most cases excel at what it is they want to do then just Google around for a while, in fact very few of the most successful people in this world have got a strong academic background, that is not to say that academia is worthless, far from it, the world runs on the work of academics, and without them we would still be in the caves trying to get a fire going, my point is that equality is not only a good thing to try and achieve in society but the only thing, we just have to remind ourselves what it actually means.

Equality should mean the opportunity to excel and be successful, to not live a life in fear and poverty, to not eek out an existence daily just waiting for the cold hand of the reaper, it SHOULD mean the opportunity to live a good and happy life regardless of age, race, religion, ability or sexual orientation, and I think that as a society we have forgotten that, we need people to fall within a budget or a qouta, and the only way to make people fit into statistics is to manipulate the system until those people appear, the fact is nobody is going to do it for you, if you want the life you see when you close your eyes at night you are going to have to fight for it no matter what that takes.

So that is why I say that you need to be number ONE in your own mind that is what you are striving for, don’t look at your heroes and claim that you can’t get there because they have a natural talent, don’t let yourself off the hook by saying they are just better than me, substitute Talent for Aptitude, and Better for More Hardworking, to say that a person is a NATURAL TALENT is often to negate the huge amount work and dedication that they put in everyday to get where they are, and if you put in the same amount of work everyday you would get there too, the education system may have failed you (it equally may not have failed you too) but if you want greatness stop the excuses given to us by a society that has lost it’s ambition, and drive yourself to be Number One at what you want to do, and you will find happiness, some careers are better paid than others and some jobs too, but I promise if you are the best at what you do, at least within your peer group, then you will find a happiness and a calm that goes along with doing something you love.

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Emotional intelligence – thought before action.

Hiring criteria changes about as often as the poles, but even employers are recognising that the ability to think slow and reasoned even when under pressure makes for a better employee, and if you can master it will help you in your own financial and health journey too, never beat yourself up over things, always listen to constructive criticism and help others where you can.

https://getpocket.com/explore/item/7-reasons-why-emotional-intelligence-is-one-of-the-fastest-growing-job-skills?utm_source=pocket-newtab

Take your time – but use each minute to it’s limit

There are a lot of mixed messages out on the internet and indeed in the traditional media, we are encouraged by some financial Guru’s to take our time, try not to get rich quick because it is a fallacy, while others bellow from neon lit stages that speed and persistence is the key, move fast and make mistakes and ultimately you can come up with an idea that tomorrow will make you a millionaire.

I have spent a lot of time considering both and I can honestly say that neither extreme is true, the idea of waiting for the moment when you no longer have to worry about money for what could possibly be years is not a pleasant one, and constantly finding the holes in the “get rich quick” schemes also leaves a bad taste in the mouth.

Personally I have suffered at my own hand in the regard because I got caught up in the race to find the one thing that would make me rich tomorrow, the one thing that I am constantly being told is out there and if I just work hard enough I can get it, I started down a path and then abandoned it after the first hurdle, without really giving it the time to become anything, and only now can I say that I learned a lesson from an abandoned project that no Guru or marketing expert could ever have taught me.

I started this blog for two reasons, one, I wanted to help others like me who were looking to improve theirs and their families lives in every respect, people who had more than one thing to fix, and didn’t have the funds to chase down every dream offered for a price in a YouTube advert, and two, to build something that would bring in revenue, not through hard selling or fabrication but simply by using something or finding a resource that was valuable and then offering it for sale (usually through Amazon) for an affiliates commission, so a simple exchange of knowledge for the revenue that popularity can bring.

But it didn’t take off how I would like, I had seen (and indeed read) several articles and books on blogging and how if you get it right you can make it a good second income and if done professionally you can make it your primary income, and a good one at that, and I made 22 cents, not even enough to have WordPress send me a cheque, so I got disheartened, went back to dreading getting up on a morning and driving into work without the promise of a better life to come.

But I was still watching the videos as they were coming through on notification, and I was still looking for ways to make extra money.

Without any kind of interaction ( This is my first post in nearly a month ) this blog started to get more followers, people were still looking at it and they were liking my posts, until I could no longer ignore the obvious, I had started something, I had made the beginnings of a business that was capable of returning cash without any intervention at all, and the amount that it returned was directly proportional to the amount of effort I put in.

The point of this is that yes, you should be prepared to wait for the big payday, the popularity or the sales that you crave because things take time, they always have and despite the loud protestations of certain “influencers” they always will, but with the right content or products, and enough thought you can create a business that will eventually reward you with as much or as little effort as you choose to put in, and that business will stay on the internet forever more if you so choose, the pivotal moment is to realise that getting rich slow does not mean sitting back and taking it easy, it is more a state of mind that protects you from the disappointment of not becoming an overnight millionaire, it means making every minute that you are pursuing your side hustle and trying to build that financial freedom count, it means instead of a Netflix marathon when the kids go to bed, sit down and work, change things, run with every idea just in case, and don’t make the mistake I made, once you start something see it through, if it is just failing then cut it loose and go on with something else but you owe it to yourself and whoever else you had in mind when you started pursuing money to see it through until that decision becomes obvious.

I know it seems like stating the obvious but I got caught out by it and I didn’t want anybody else to because the time that I could have been posting or trying products, or looking for other ways to sell products and make the money that I set out to is gone now and I can’t get it back.

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