Recognise and break the cycle of destructive self prophecy.

Regardless of how bizarre a theory sounds (and these are all theories at best psuedo science at worst) the classification of a theory changes with the amount of people that believe it to be correct, a theory becomes and idea, and idea becomes an inspiration, inspiration becomes research and research leads to documentation which then becomes widely regarded as fact, and one such theory is self-fulfilling prophecy, or our ability to somehow place a barrier to a goal or state of being based on our constant denial of our ability to achieve.


I love bodybuilding, I really do, it has been part of my life now for 31 years, but I have always had my own personal doubts as to my ability to compete so I never did, I simply carried on training but never even tried to compete or diet down for that matter, why? because I had already decided that I would not be able to, now at the risk of sounding like I am trying to brag (which I assure you I am not) a quick idea of what I did achieve is, I had 38 inch thighs, a 32 inch waist and was rapidly growing out of 56 inch chest jackets, so at the tender age of 19 I was actually doing quite well, so why didn’t I compete ? well it is a lot of extra work and pain, lifting big weights when you have lots of calories and the right amount of protein and supplements going in is easy but the same tasks dieted down not so much, and after all I was not good enough so why bother?

Progress in any form of life is normally facilitated by the perseverance or person through the application of pain or discomfort, for every goal there is a sacrifice and we weigh up the benefits of an action against the potential cost every day in a mostly sub conscious state.


Realisation of the reasons for failure is the key, you can take a person who feels they cannot do something and put them in a position where they have either no choice or to not do it would cost more than to participate and they can find that extra something deep inside and complete the task, moreover you generally find that they then go on to repeat the task in the future without concern and can become quite good at it or very comfortable with the feeling, that is what we are trying to achieve in our daily lives, and the initial key is to understand why the “self-fulfilling prophecy” is so detrimental and what we must do to get around it.

I it simply because in that moment we made a decision, a decision based on the pain level we were feeling and the possibility of relieving it by carrying out an action that was unpleasant or counter intuitive to our beliefs or fears but nevertheless it was the better option, what we lack in our daily lives is the impetus to make the decision, just as people live with failing eyesight through the ageing process until it gets so bad that they have to go to the opticians we adapt to the pain and stress of our lives as it is applied gradually from birth, what we need to do is recognise that the limits we set are indeed set by us and the same delivery of dialogue that oppresses and controls us , if altered to a positive message will free us from not only the bonds of society but from the boundaries we set ourselves through lack of belief in our own ability.

Begin by taking each situation you find yourself in that is painful or stressful and reinforce to yourself that you do not deserve it, you deserve a better life, and it is within your power to attain the solution and to live that better life, conversely when enjoying yourself actively remind yourself that you do deserve this and that you have worked for that moment of calm or day in the sun, by doing this we change any negative self fulfilling prophecy and turn it into a positive and through practice and action derived from personal reinforcement of a positive message and a belief that you deserve a better life you will change your actions to suit your goals.


I believe, truly believe that while we are a product of upbringing and environment we also have the ability to change our lives for whatever we decide we deserve or we should be doing, modern life has a need to keep people within boxes and limitations in order to prop up the financial culture of debt and the insecurity in social circles that feeds that debt culture, life is far to short to remain in a planetary gear in the corporate debt machine, it isn’t fair and the fact is that although a level Utopian playing field would be nice, we passed the time to make that change at the beginning of civilisation, now is the time to fight for the happiness and success of yourself and your loved ones by living your best life.

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Somebody hurt you? don’t feel down use it as a springboard to success

Most of us have been there, stuck at the back end of a failed relationship or social situations that don’t go right, employers that don’t value you, and it starts to feel like there is no way out, things will never change and you get depressed.

It is easy at these times to start self deprecating behaviours, in desperation from a break from the pain or pressure we turn to drink, drugs, eat more or less, anything to give us control of a situation or remove the feeling even if for a brief moment.


During a fight or an argument I have never seen somebody begin punching themselves or start to shout down their own opinions, this is became we are fighting for something, the imposition of our will over another, or control of a situation from somebody who was out to harm us, this is because it would be counter intuitive to do so as harming yourself will not win the situation over,

So why do we allow ourselves to act that way when faced with stress and pressure of life or say the end of a relationship ?

There is no better revenge than being in shape and successful, this was said to me quite some time ago now, and there has been many anecdotal evidence of it in my life and I am sure that there has been in yours if you think it through.


Any kind of detrimental action is only going to exacerbate things more and lead you to feeling worse, you should look to improve your life and focus on the positives no matter how difficult they are to find, build on them and create a different reality than the one you are not happy with, people will act in a way they think is acceptable both in interpersonal matters and official, nearly all situations can be controlled if we take ownership of it and act in our own best interest, sometimes it is time to be selfish.

Write your own success story just by feeling good about yourself

How can you expect others to love and respect you if you do not love and respect yourself ? so many people walk around with their heads down staring at the pavement, feeling so down on an aspect of themselves that they are almost apologetic.

I am not talking about whether we take pictures of ourselves on Instagram to prove we are not ashamed of an increased waistline, or we stand next to an expensive car and take a sneaky selfie to prove to our followers that we have money, I am talking about how our inner dialogues create such whirlwinds of thought and emotion that it spills out into the ether and taints the way people deal with us.

Ask your self this, if you were going to have surgery and the surgeon came out and was mumbling, seemed a little restless and when asked a direct question about the surgery he/she was uncertain and spoke quietly and ambiguously, would you be happy about having them operate on you? No of course not, because they aren’t sure of their own ability and therefore you cannot trust that when it comes to it they will make the right and timely decisions needed, you do not trust them.

This example translates to any area of life, sure people are accepting of the quiet shy type, and some people will hire somebody who barely makes themselves heard at an interview, but the best things in life are NOT free my friend and are reserved for those that go out and get them, I guarentee that when you are sat hiding away in an interview the person who owns that company is loud enough to be heard, noticeable and determined beyond the belief of those around her/him that their business is the best and it will succeed.

5 Steps to success

  1. Make everyday a good day, I literally caught myself saying, crikey it’s Monday tomorrow and moaning about it earlier today, Monday boys and girls is the start of the week it is a day to earn another pound / dollar and should be treated as such, it is also the beginning of another week that you can use to better yourself, and make moves to get away from whatever you don’t like about your life now, it is also officially the day that puts last week in the past, so you get a clean slate and the ability to learn from the last weeks failures to make next week even better, so really Monday is an awesome day.
  2. If you feel like shit, ask yourself why, do you not like the way you look? do something about it, any little change can have a massive improvement in self-confidence and self-confidence sells, so maybe you have had your hair a certain way for years just because that is the way it has always been, so change it pick something new and go with it, if you feel miserable the people you interact with will also start to feel miserable, how often have you heard “I love hanging out with Dave he is so miserable I almost cry” just doesn’t happen, make yourself happy and it will rub off on others, careful not to go too far as confidence can go sour and become arrogance which brings me nicely to my next point.
  3. Treat others as you would want to be treated, always be respectful and never drag anybody down for anything, and I mean that, if somebody looks like shit and they ask for your honest opinion then give it, if they do not then it really is none of your business, if a situation is being made difficult by one person be the voice of reason and it will shine through, remember that these situations are very rarely personal, especially in a work environment, people are so scared of losing their jobs these days that they will shout loud and long at anybody who will listen just to try and get noticed, I am not saying shy away, simply do not lose your temper and make sure that everybody knows your opinion and do not gloat when you are proved right, this also works in reverse if you were wrong you end up with measurably less egg on your face.
  4. Remember that you should never apologise for who or what you are, again I am not talking about shoving your insecurities in peoples faces just simply live your life for you and not for the opinions of others, this means doing things how you want to do it, because this is all about inner confidence it should never be about outward conformity for conformity sake, there is a lot to be said for true individualism, you are an individual and should be proud of that.
  5. And lastly work hard, work harder than anybody else, pick up what you are doing and finish it, the second part of that is just as important as the starting, a project, no matter how grand is not worth a penny if it is just an idea on a piece of paper or a half made model or nearly finished email list.

No matter what your goal, be it employee of the month or business owner of the year being happy and comfortable with who you are is the most important qualification, because in the tough times when you don’t feel like getting up and going to work the only person there is you, when the business is having a down time and you need to make certain changes to fix it the only person there is you, so list what it is you want to be and then start making the changes to get there.