When not being the best is better

I was recently at my daughters drama class and the teacher was talking us through how they put a play together in a the 1 hour lesson that she has every week, she (the teacher) was a very animated character and dare I say exactly what I would have pictured a drama teacher to be, very pronounced without shouting and very keen on the detail of instruction she was giving, her opening line when we all arrived was that she wanted to show the parents of the attendees what it was that they do there and how they form a lesson and the goals they are trying to achieve when they do, one of the things that she said during this speech got me thinking and I wanted to share my thoughts in case anybody wished to share their view.

“It is not about being perfect or even getting the words right all the time it is about doing and learning as they go, there is so much talk about being the best version of yourself these days and always striving to be perfect that people especially children must be exhausted”

I have extolled the virtues of striving for perfection on many an occasion and it is only now that I started to think that pushing for perfection is not only futile in occasions where the result is forced to be a product of collaboration but sometimes so tiring that it becomes a very draining ethos, which could potentially be destructive, and ultimately subverting our goals as we struggle to achieve them through the brain fog of exhaustion.

Now, anybody who has read anything I have done will be familiar with the fact that I like to have proof of something before I will adopt or attempt to pass it on as information to others, and this is no exception, I watched in wonder as this teacher, without raising her voice to a shout moved 15 children aged between 6 and 12 through this play that they had seen for the first time that night, and after just 45 minutes, we had a 10 minute play where I would say 85% of timings were correct and dialogue was remembered, the children had started to add complimentary movement to their parts and had started to extend their lines all within context, it was astounding to see all these different personalities working together and learning through enjoyment.

I am not saying that there is not a place for perfection and striving to be the best, merely that we need to recognise that moment of fatigue in all of us and act on it, lighten up a bit and realise that forced progress is sometimes slower and always a lot harder than relaxed progress, Bruce Lee was famous for the 1 inch punch and always taught pupils to relax the muscles of the hand and arm while punching as a tight clenched fist cannot travel as fast as a relaxed one, he was right and this was proved in many demonstrations the same can be said for the mind, a stressed “tight” mind will never learn as quickly as a relaxed one that is open and has time to spare.

I guess what I saw was not really the play about the Russian Cave that was being performed but rather that changing from the intense method of corrective education i.e. “that was wrong” or “do it again you weren’t on time” to a more lead form where the word wrong was never used, not even once despite some initial lines being quoted wrong and a couple of missed cue’s, was that when we are all relaxed we learn quicker, we retain more information and with a greater accuracy, so I guess what I am saying is if you are struggling with a subject or a method, be it academic or entrepreneurial then instead of beating yourself up and getting stressed, essentially blocking your own progress you should stop, take a deep breath (or two depending on how stressed you are) and look at what you are doing for what it is, try and find the enjoyment in your activity, and do not berate yourself for making mistakes, every fortune and large company was built on a foundation of error, that is how we learn, approach new concepts or technical challenges as an opportunity to a burden and you will see that as cortisol levels drop your whole mental state will become less toxic and you will move along at a faster pace than you ever thought possible.

Determination – Your Power, Your Journey

All to often we allow the power of self fulfilling prophecy to work against us, for a job interview we will continually think we are going to be late and end actually making ourselves late, or we convince ourselves that the guy or girl that we like would never like us so we don’t make an effort for fear of failure and guess what ? they never notice us!

Internal dialogues and self talk happen all day, every day, if we are aware of it or not, decisions are made on a subconscious level that determine the directions our lives take, with the exception of the very urgent “fight or flight” decisions these are all made with Reason and after an internal dialogue where we weigh up the chances of success versus failure and then act accordingly.

The problem with these conversations is that for most us they are biased against us this is most likely due to self preservation, and is not something that we all feel to equal measure.

Believe in Yourself!

How many times have you heard this, just believe in yourself and all will be well, it is more difficult however than it sounds as this requires the changing of your whole inner dialogue, you must reverse a subconscious level of thinking (not easily done) and you must find a way to remove the limits that you have set without knowing it, I personally am a firm believer in the power of the human spirit, years of observation have seen me notice that on some level my inner dialogue, my narrative that exists only in the deepest parts of my mind, influence and shape the world around me, and very rarely for the better I can tell you.

Break the cycle

Human behaviour is learned through pattern and repetition, for both motor skills and thought process, we ultimately become a product of our upbringing because this is the behaviour we see everyday, and so it becomes ingrained into our thought processes and our personalities, but we can change it, we can make a shift from one cycle to another, there is no shortage of research on making and breaking habits and one in particular found that it took nearly 12 weeks to form a habit and some people took nearly 254 days so don’t be too concerned if you have been telling yourself in the mirror that you are great for three days and you don’t feel any different.

Make Your Gestures Big

I used to be a nightclub doorman (bear with me) and I feel that tackling this situation is a lot like that, by the end of the night people were largely inebriated and their thought processes were impaired, conscious thought was cloudy and they were mostly running on sub-conscious activity to find their way home, my job, among others was to clear out the bar / club at the end of the night and I found after working this job for some twenty years that there was a very effective and distinct way to deal with this situation, you see shouting and hollering was not the answer, because hostility is just returned and talking quietly and not really making your presence felt was also pointless because you weren’t enough of an annoyance to cause an effect,

The most effective way to deal with this was to stand just that bit closer than you would normally, so you are not threatening but you are completely unavoidable and speak loudly and calmly repeatedly requesting that they leave as the night is over, and if you kept your cool and were patient the message got through within about 5 minutes for the lest drunk and the ones that could hardly stand got the idea within about 20 minutes.

My point is that I was dealing with people in the same mindset as we are when addressing our sub-conscious and trying to change what it wants to do, we are comfortable where we are and we feel safe because we are familiar with our surroundings, conscious thought that can reason that change is a positive is not in play and so we do not want to move, getting angry with ourselves is futile because we just become angry back and break all communication and trying to change a habit by gently whispering to ourselves each day just won’t cut it, we won’t hear the whispers,

The only way is speak clearly and unmistakably every time you get the chance, challenging all the things that you are convinced you are no good at, and don’t stop, don’t give up on yourself.

Determination is measured by the progress you make through adversity.

Me

Technique

Effectiveness is often mirrored by simplicity, I wouldn’t go downt he route of tying string round your finger or setting alarms to sit and concentrate on bigging yourself up, rather you need to start to listen, listen to your inner dialogues and start to recognise where they are working against you, and simply change the dialogue, as I have said previously change “I can’t” to “I can’t at the minute”, change “I am not good enough” to “I am not ready yet”, leave everything open ended, without the ability for your inner dialogue to close the door on a discussion you can modify the direction and message until you naturally follow the more positive path, take time to meditate, even if it sounds a little hokey and you feel silly doing it, by removing the outside noise of everyday life, even for 5 minutes, you can concentrate on what you are thinking and feeling and challenge all these beliefs you have about yourself,

Spirituality is not just banging gongs and Joss sticks (sorry if I offended anybody, seriously if you want to bang a gong then crack on!) it is about harnessing your own spirit and gaining from it, the foundation of success is much deeper than a bank account, but that account is much more achievable from a basis of inner strength.

Photo by Mike from Pexels

Quitting is not always a bad thing.

Motivators and influencers will constantly shout at you that you should never quit, we are told that if we just work hard at something then success will come, sadly this is not the case and we need to try and identify when this point has been reached and how to bow out gracefully taking the lessons you have learned and using them to move forward in another direction.

Are you one of those people that just won’t quit? constantly banging away day after day not getting anywhere and making yourself depressed at the lack of progress and tired of failure, if you are then you are not alone, the huge runaway success of the internet and social medias early adopters has spurred on a global group of gold diggers all trying to make their name and carve out their own slice of paradise, the hours that go into the videos and the editing and the uploading, days trying to write blogs and researching different subjects only to get no actual views just likes so people get their avatar on your page should somebody else happen past it and think to click on their link.

And I can’t blame anybody for doing this, we all want to become rich and we all want the good life, believe it or not I do still think it is achievable, you just have to know when to quit something that is not working and replace it with a new direction and a new potential.

So I had a thought and have come up with what I think to be indicators that it is time to find another path, not everybody will agree with these and some of them are a bit hard to hear but ultimately as Paul Newman says in the color of money “find something you are good at and be the best and you will make money”.

Are you happy ?

Well are you? honestly? does what you are doing make you happy, if not then it may well be time to move on, emotions are transmitted very easily through the way somebody writes or holds themselves on screen, or even talks in a podcast, if you are not happy how can you expect anybody else to buy into you ?

Is it your passion ?

A passion is an easy thing to quantify, is this something that you would do even if there were no potential money in it ? I know this sounds like are you happy ? but it is not, eating large quantities of chocolate makes me happy but I am not passionate about it, I am passionate about health and education and the things that money provides, I am also very passionate about American Cars, huge V8’s that breathe and shake the ground as they pass, the subjects you are passionate about you will talk about for hours to anybody at anytime whether they like it or not!

Is it honest ?

By this I don’t mean are you trying to con anybody, what I mean is best explained by example, if there was a guru out there that claimed by simply standing on a carrot for 10 minutes a day you could flush all the toxins from your body extending your life and happiness, would you be able to extol the virtues of the system without trying it for yourself ? conversely if it turned out to be true could you push the subject even in the face of the opposition that it would surely get ?

Can you accept that you are not good enough ?

This is possibly the hardest thing to accept because we are told that we can do anything if we just try, and I suppose I do buy into the idea that with enough practice you can become proficient at just about anything, but we have to be practical as well, this whole blog and site is about trying to rise above normality, to become the best we can be and to make a future filled with life rather than slavery and toil at the hands of our masters, here is a secret, I suck at playing guitar, I still do it but I am slow and clunky and just haven’t got that spark of ability it takes to become a guitarist, I can however play along to quite a few songs and if you heard me you would think I was OK, but I could never make a living out of it because I am simply nowhere near good enough, you don’t have to look far to see how good life can be if you are the best at playing guitar, I am sure Steve Vai often thanks whatever force made him pick up a six string and start playing.

That is really it, there is no section on how long you have been trying because in truth that is irrelevant things will take as long as they take, and as long as you haven’t got a bizarre idea like literally building a staircase to heaven you will get to where you want to be, but without the above I really don’t see that it is possible.

An important point to remember is that quitting does not mean failure it simply means a new beginning and a wiser traveller.

Photo by Gerd Altmann from Pexels

Emotional intelligence – thought before action.

Hiring criteria changes about as often as the poles, but even employers are recognising that the ability to think slow and reasoned even when under pressure makes for a better employee, and if you can master it will help you in your own financial and health journey too, never beat yourself up over things, always listen to constructive criticism and help others where you can.

https://getpocket.com/explore/item/7-reasons-why-emotional-intelligence-is-one-of-the-fastest-growing-job-skills?utm_source=pocket-newtab

Still Scraping Around? This Could be Why

So you are working 9 to 5 and you are coming in and spending time with the laptop trying desperately to break the endless cycle of work and struggle, but you, like countless others are still are banging your head against a wall that you cannot see, I know because I have been there and for that matter still am.

In an earlier post I shared the revelation that in order to make money you need money, this is not a huge revelation and I am not trying to get more likes simply by repeating it, rather it need repeating because it is true, you see there is a single global truth about success, if you understand something then you will be successful at it, it is really that easy, sure the occasional person may get lucky and just hit upon a winning idea, but these are quickly surpassed by others who study the early success and formulate a repeatable formula to not only re-create the success but to grow on it and leave the “lucky” ones in the dust.

If you spend enough time searching for making money online, you will find that you literally cannot watch a YouTube video or go onto a website without and AD being run by some desperate entrepreneur trying to hook you into the latest system with this weeks free seminar, here’s the kicker, it’s shit, all of it, and it is wasting your time and mine, they haven’t got the answer which is why they are pushing the same “online live webinars” as everybody else and promising the earth with that identical desperate look in their eye.

but still for the majority of us we have a look and then 2hrs later we realise the whole thing is the same pointless pitch with the upsell at the end for several thousand dollars in some cases and mere hundreds in others, but what I will ask is what if? what if you took that thousand dollars and paid off some of your credit cards, the reduced balance would mean more money in your account each month and more money in your account means more money to pay off debt, it is a vocabulary thing, really it is, when we hear people like Robert Kyosaki talking about using debt to make money he is talking about hundreds of thousands of dollars of mortgage debt paying him a huge dividend at the end of each month as the difference is calculated between the repayments and the rental income.

But for us the hundreds of pounds/dollars each month on repayments that in the main are just paying off the interest is what is keeping us poor and it will never be any different.

Somebody once asked Warren Buffet why if his system worked so well that not everybody followed it, his reply was simple “because nobody wants to get rich slow” and he is right, because every time we turn on the laptop we are bombarded with these jerks selling us exactly that, and it does not exist but taking a long time is not as long as you might think, even on a modest wage if you removed all the outgoings to credit, and I mean Credit Cards, Auto Finance, that huge 50 inch TV pulling your chimney breast down and those 10 days in the sun your boss graciously lets you have once a year, you would soon have enough money to start investing in a way, it may not be the largest way, but a way.

So you need to stop listening to the $200 a day from Google shit, or the $500 dollars a week from simply typing, because it is literally that, your viewing time and clicks are just feeding people as skint as you as they try desperately to find a way to get a video to go viral, or hook enough people into their upsell, stop doing it, instead learn from experts in their field, spend time watching videos on investing, or property development, seek out millionaires or billionaires doing exactly that look for educational development so that when you have the money to invest you understand what it is you are investing in and don’t lose all that hard work, unfollow dreamers and scammers, bloody dropshipping courses that stopped being profitable years ago because now everybody has a shopify store, and nobody wants to wait 6 weeks for delivery from China on a sub-standard product, don’t go down the affiliate route and start picking items to promote on Clickbank, learn a skill and write an ebook and get affiliate marketers to sell it for you on Clickbank, think about it what makes more sense, weeks and weeks competing with people to sell one lousy product and earn a tenner, or write an ebook or course about something you know and get an army of hungry affiliates to sell it for you ?

You, like me owe yourself at least this much, stop trawling through Instagram for inspiration, if you have been there once then you have inspiration enough, stop looking on YouTube for another business idea because the one you tried was either useless or didn’t work in a week so you gave up, literally turn 6 months of your life over to hardship and struggle to put yourself in a stronger financial position and a better mental state with a more thorough understanding of your chosen path, and then hit the internet with your ideas, get affiliates selling your courses, or make your millions investing with your patterns or your system the world is big enough for us all to make fortunes, but sometimes you have stop running in the dark, leaping from idea to idea and pushing other peoples ideas and property, and realise in the world of affiliate marketing the only ones truly getting rich are the content creators.

As always please leave a comment if you have one and I hope that you have every success with whatever path you take, till next time…….

Main Photo by Skitterphoto from Pexels

3 Ways to Invest in Yourself for Free

All the talk is about investing in business and making money but, all the money in the world is not going to be worth a single cent if you don’t take care of yourself, can’t take it with you! as they say, one of the big problems today as I have said on many occasions is that we are always rushing from one thing to another, hoping that our internal batteries will stay charged just long enough till we can make the next deal or lose the next 5lbs or we can work hard enough to just get this next certification, but what happens if it doesn’t ? well you fail not because you could not achieve the goal that you set for yourself but simply because you ran out of steam, and that is a bitter pill to swallow, believe me.

Imagine running a race, you have kept good pace and you have beaten off your rivals, the air is clear and you are feeling good, turning a corner you see the finish line but as you do your leg starts to cramp, it passes up through your body and you start to slow under the pain, but you still see the finish line and it is getting closer, so you push harder the pain gets worse and you drop to your knees, the line stops moving and you see your rivals come past and break that tape, of all the feelings that are running through your head at that time one will be that you will not let this happen again you will go away and train harder, sleep more and learn how to make your body go faster and longer, spurred on by the biting pain of regret you vow this how it will be.

As dark as that analogy was I would be prepared to bet that most of the people in that situation would then go on to smash the next race, but life unfortunately (until proven wrong) is not like that we have one shot at it and once we hit the floor near the finish line there is no more tomorrow, an no more races to make a comeback, so follow these three investments in yourself and take action now so that the last thing you think as you cross the line is “I Won!”

Sleep

Maybe not 8hrs a night as some people literally feel worse after sleeping so long, but find the right amount of sleep for you and stick to it where you can, the odd late night / early morning here and there are fine and you shouldn’t sweat it but consistent burning the candle at both ends, NO, a rested body and mind is a prepared body and mind, and when you are prepared you become more confidence, confidence + preparedness = success, there is nothing that you are not ready for and when it is thrown you can deal with it as you are switched on and “Present in the Moment”

Nutrition

You are what you eat, not strictly true but we all know what it is like to have a massive Carb filled meal and then try to go back to work in the afternoon or get a little more done at night when you just want to sleep, invest some time in yourself by learning about your body, what body type are you? are you sensitive to Caffeine ? is that latest fab diet the reason why you don’t sleep at night and your cognitive function is on the floor, investment in yourself is either free or the price of a couple of good books on the subject, learn to optimise your body and everybody will thank you for it, you will be happier more confident and have more energy.

Exercise

You don’t have to go to the gym and spend a fortune on Protein Shakes and supplements to get fit, There are plenty of good videos on Yoga, bodyweight exercises you can do at home, or make up your own, again the investment is reading blogs such as this one, or the world of information that is at you fingertips in the form of the Internet (I am sure you have heard of it), if you haven’t got time then wake up 30 mins earlier or carry workout clothes with you in the car, that 45 minute break that you would normally fill reading something like this or getting lost in YouTube spiral, making mountains of money for people that produce gaming videos and the like invest in yourself, go for a walk or some sprints, you will feel better for it.

Conclusion

Don’t expect huge differences overnight changing habits and body adaptation takes time but it is worth it, and the evidence is all around us, from the hugely overweight that start a diet and a week in to it still look the same to the skinny kid who gets laughed at at the gym until one day he steps on the Olympia stage, all the way to the guy that spends little money and studies investments without the credit fuelled frivolities of his peers, seems broke until he buys a huge house outright and starts travelling the world without having to ask for the time off from work, but you have to start, not tomorrow, NOW right NOW, literally changes like the above you can start right this second by deciding to go for a walk, or not have junk food at lunch, maybe get a book and sit down and work out why every diet you try does not give results. the best investment you can make is in yourself and it’s the only one that will add years to your life!

You can’t get rich without increasing your income

The first thing that we think of when we start to feel pinched financially is that we need to get a better job, we need to increase the amount of hours we work or that we need to secure a loan to see us over this particular bump in the road, this is ultimately what keeps the vast majority of us poor, and let me define that, poor is a state of being, it is the description of a quality of life, rather than a quantification of money earned, many people who are on smaller incomes are in fact richer than some people that have double or even triple the income.

The reason is debt on liabilities, cars, houses, clothes, holidays even meals out all go on credit cards or finance agreements, in some ways not being able to obtain credit can be a blessing as you can at least say that the money you get in each month is yours, if you earn £200 a month and your outgoings are £100 then you are far better off than somebody earning £1000 and paying out £990, but to the outside world you are doing better, however the latter person will never be free, as they will continue to be kept down by the system, and make the credit companies rich through interest payments, whereas the person with £100 left over can invest in their future and become free if they choose to do so.

So what do you do if you are the person on £1000 ? well you find more sources of income, more streams that can be run with as little intervention as possible, even the smallest increases can start to change your financial balance, and the beauty of the internet ? it’s all there to be found if you care to look, right now while I am typing this in the background I am getting paid to watch videos and the money is probably the equivalent of 3 or so dollars a day, but the site I am using also offers paid surveys and other ways of making a little bit of money with very little effort, I have included a link at the bottom and yes it is an affiliate link and will benefit me should you sign up through it, but what have you got to lose ? you can run the videos in the background and use the affiliate link to sign people up, it is never going to make you rich but it will assist in that endeavour, plus while you are surfing or writing or sat watching the videos, you have turned that time where you are burning electricity and spending time into instant income, real tangible money that can be paid through paypal, and this is money you didn’t have before and that is a very good thing.

So go ahead and have a look if it’s not for you then that is cool, but it is really easy and can be run in the background, work smarter not harder!

It does push gift cards but the option to be paid through paypal is in there it is just buried deep is all!