Write your own success story just by feeling good about yourself

How can you expect others to love and respect you if you do not love and respect yourself ? so many people walk around with their heads down staring at the pavement, feeling so down on an aspect of themselves that they are almost apologetic.

I am not talking about whether we take pictures of ourselves on Instagram to prove we are not ashamed of an increased waistline, or we stand next to an expensive car and take a sneaky selfie to prove to our followers that we have money, I am talking about how our inner dialogues create such whirlwinds of thought and emotion that it spills out into the ether and taints the way people deal with us.

Ask your self this, if you were going to have surgery and the surgeon came out and was mumbling, seemed a little restless and when asked a direct question about the surgery he/she was uncertain and spoke quietly and ambiguously, would you be happy about having them operate on you? No of course not, because they aren’t sure of their own ability and therefore you cannot trust that when it comes to it they will make the right and timely decisions needed, you do not trust them.

This example translates to any area of life, sure people are accepting of the quiet shy type, and some people will hire somebody who barely makes themselves heard at an interview, but the best things in life are NOT free my friend and are reserved for those that go out and get them, I guarentee that when you are sat hiding away in an interview the person who owns that company is loud enough to be heard, noticeable and determined beyond the belief of those around her/him that their business is the best and it will succeed.

5 Steps to success

  1. Make everyday a good day, I literally caught myself saying, crikey it’s Monday tomorrow and moaning about it earlier today, Monday boys and girls is the start of the week it is a day to earn another pound / dollar and should be treated as such, it is also the beginning of another week that you can use to better yourself, and make moves to get away from whatever you don’t like about your life now, it is also officially the day that puts last week in the past, so you get a clean slate and the ability to learn from the last weeks failures to make next week even better, so really Monday is an awesome day.
  2. If you feel like shit, ask yourself why, do you not like the way you look? do something about it, any little change can have a massive improvement in self-confidence and self-confidence sells, so maybe you have had your hair a certain way for years just because that is the way it has always been, so change it pick something new and go with it, if you feel miserable the people you interact with will also start to feel miserable, how often have you heard “I love hanging out with Dave he is so miserable I almost cry” just doesn’t happen, make yourself happy and it will rub off on others, careful not to go too far as confidence can go sour and become arrogance which brings me nicely to my next point.
  3. Treat others as you would want to be treated, always be respectful and never drag anybody down for anything, and I mean that, if somebody looks like shit and they ask for your honest opinion then give it, if they do not then it really is none of your business, if a situation is being made difficult by one person be the voice of reason and it will shine through, remember that these situations are very rarely personal, especially in a work environment, people are so scared of losing their jobs these days that they will shout loud and long at anybody who will listen just to try and get noticed, I am not saying shy away, simply do not lose your temper and make sure that everybody knows your opinion and do not gloat when you are proved right, this also works in reverse if you were wrong you end up with measurably less egg on your face.
  4. Remember that you should never apologise for who or what you are, again I am not talking about shoving your insecurities in peoples faces just simply live your life for you and not for the opinions of others, this means doing things how you want to do it, because this is all about inner confidence it should never be about outward conformity for conformity sake, there is a lot to be said for true individualism, you are an individual and should be proud of that.
  5. And lastly work hard, work harder than anybody else, pick up what you are doing and finish it, the second part of that is just as important as the starting, a project, no matter how grand is not worth a penny if it is just an idea on a piece of paper or a half made model or nearly finished email list.

No matter what your goal, be it employee of the month or business owner of the year being happy and comfortable with who you are is the most important qualification, because in the tough times when you don’t feel like getting up and going to work the only person there is you, when the business is having a down time and you need to make certain changes to fix it the only person there is you, so list what it is you want to be and then start making the changes to get there.

Should Privacy Be a Right?

A bit of a departure for me, but something that is very close to my heart, Privacy I don’t mean people not knowing what I look like on here or the fact that I choose to put pictures and my opinions on the internet for all to see, I mean the data that I do not choose to share, the buried tracking cookies, the carefully worded “terms and conditions” that essentially boil down to you agreeing to being tracked and profiled in order to use a service, and when that service is Google or Facebook, it is difficult to make the decision to not agree and to walk away from the service because they have become so ingrained in our society, life can genuinely be difficult without them.

I want to deal immediately with the first argument that people come up with when faced with this point “if you have nothing to hide what is the problem?” the problem is that I do not want to share ever aspect of my life and if you think about it I bet neither do you, secondly I want to choose what I allow people to know about me and my family, and third I want to know what information is being gathered about me and how much care the organisations that have that data are taking over it.

I work in network security and as such have always been one of the “tin foil hat brigade” because when you understand the nature of a thing you see just how powerful it actually is, that said the event that triggered my latest rant had me baffled as to the mechanism in the background that allowed the transfer of data, and it concerns the setting up of an account with the same avatar that I have on here, I like a lot of people run Plex media server at home, it is run on a local server not in the cloud and has three accounts on it, I will not name the site that this happened on and have only named Plex as it is important to understand that this was a local server, I created an account on the other site and added the avatar, the next time I went to log into Plex it had updated my profile picture (previously blank) to the new avatar, there is no discernible connection between the two and to this day the way it pulled that information is a mystery.

The Giants of the tech world log and track our lives By Default removing our ability to be in control of our own information, they use this information to shape the world we see and as we become more and more dependant on social media and devices to run our everyday lives algorithms are working in the background make sure we never see something that doesn’t interest us, but think about that for a minute, if we never see anything that they think would not interest us and the knowledge they have is only built from things that we have searched for or looked at previously then where is the diversity? where is the random nature that makes humans so interesting, all our visual cues while online will be similar and our browsing experience will be shaped to appeal to what the system thinks we want.

Computers like uniformity, they thrive in a binary predictable environment where an action equals a programmatic and logical response, and of course it is a marketers dream, consistent advertisements, news stories suggested feeds and search results that all point to a single direction will ultimately push an individual into a course of action even if the only reason is frustration at the seeming lack of options.

The boom in devices for children that require an account to tailor the results and media to the younger audience simply means that this cataloguing of the human race begins earlier, and our children provide information without a care in the world, a slightly more sinister way of looking at is with the ability to shape the content that they consume it is not a major stretch before you arrive at the ability to condition and influence an individual or in the case of YouTube and Facebook, a generation effectively allowing tech companies to provide the generation of the future, and the Best case scenario for this is that they shape consumerism, the worst case doesn’t even bear thinking about.

So the question really isn’t about privacy being a right, or about the ISP knowing what websites we are going to, it is far deeper and more fundamental than that, it is about the right to live your life as you see fit, to have the ability and the information at your hands that makes you equal to your fellow man both in freedom and opportunity, it is allowing your children to grow and choose their paths through their own experience and curiosity not through a pre-programmed journey based upon an unseen authorities view on what they should become.

I guess that for the most part this post is really “my two cents” but I urge anybody that has even a passing thought that I may have a point, to just look at the videos and content that is popular among your children, or take more notice at the lack of deviation in advertising on social media that you see as well as the difficulty in trying to search for a topic outside of your normal interest on Google, look past the inconvenience and think about the long term consequence.

Counting the cost of freedom

Without money you are limited to how much freedom you can experience unless you go and find yourself an island somewhere that is absent any form of governmental rule and are happy to live the most simple of lives, if this is the case then I truly take my hat off too you, for me and countless others I am afraid that freedom has a much more commercial look and feel.

This presents a problem, not least of which how to afford it, if you are over 18 I would say that there is a good chance you have finance and if you are over 21 I would say it is almost certain, and the further we go into debt the more we lose sight of true freedom and the ability to live our lives the way we want to.

How much is it going to cost?

This is a really easy calculation, how much do you owe? If you add together all your outstanding finance, including  all  hire purchase so mortgages and car payments that is your buyout price, and at the risk of labouring the point also workout how much money you would have if the only thing that changed was your debt was wiped off.

What am I paying for?

As with anything else in life you’ll want to know what you are buying, to achieve freedom is, for most of us going to be a long drawn out process that is not going to be without one pain, so why bother?

Freedom to live your life as you see fit and to provide a future for your children that allows them to live life to the fullest, in fact it would not be to dramatic to say that you are working for a legacy your chance to provide a brighter future for generations, as your children have lived so then will theirs and as your values and ethics are picked up and integrated I to your children’s minds so will they be in the minds of their children.

You are paying to no longer shudder slightly when the post comes, especially at brown envelopes, and you are paying you are paying to not have the dreaded financial exodus from your bank account at the start and end of every month.

How to start ?

Look the truth is I don’t know, but I have spent quite a lot of time looking at various things that Won’t work, so from the last time I spoke about this I have still been looking at various ways, and I throw open a challenge to anybody who can prove me wrong, if anybody has used a get rich while you sleep scheme, or make money 24/7 or any of the other attention grabbing headlines, then let me know, if you can prove that you are now a millionaire then I will stop what I am doing and do only what you are doing immediately, I suspect I will be waiting a while though.

Something that got me thinking was a post on Instagram of all places, I forget who the guy was now but his point resonated with me as it is something that I have been thinking for some considerable time.

When you seek advice from people, be very wary who that person is, the scope for mis-representation on the internet is vast, nearly all instagram posts are photoshopped, and people wrap real money around bundles of paper to wave at the camera while they are stood outside a rented mansion with a rented Super car to sell you the latest viral money making scheme that they used to become millionaires, problem being that they aren’t millionaires, not even close in fact some of these people are flat broke and using con tricks to sell you old rope as if it was the finest spun silk ribbon, I as most of you know am from the UK, and it is more difficult here to get access to peoples financial information, however after watching one such pitch from a guy on YouTube selling some viral marketing scheme using YouTube ads I decided to do a little digging, and to my surprise the results turned out to be less than impressive, one of the claims during the pitch is that he and his business partner had spent literally millions of dollars on Facebook Ads, and strangely one look at his declared financials showed that his company was worth £69k, now that isn’t a bad amount of money, but hang on if he has spent literally Millions on Facebook advertising, where is the rest of the money ? either he is selling a product that he only makes half a penny profit on or he may be stretching the truth, there is (as an example) another fairly famous YouTuber that has the same background in all his videos of a Lamborghini parked in a garage, problem is it never seems to be any different, could this be CGI do we think?

Look I am not bashing these people directly, they have their journey in life and they are moving along it at their own pace trying to scratch a living from the millions of people that type “make money online” into google every damn day, my point and the point made in the instagram post was this, why should you listen to these people? they have not made any money, they have managed to get you to watch their video and they will get a couple of cents for this and that is it, is that what you want? it is not what I want and it is not what I want for anybody who has read this far down, you need to look for people that have done it, and if it is money you are after STOP LOOKING AT YOUTUBE AND INSTAGRAM FIRST, I could bang on at you over and over again about how to day trade, how to start an Instagram account that will make you money while you sleep, and how I cleared all my debt and now live a life of luxury, but guess what it would all be Bullshit, and how can you tell? because nobody outside of you guys has ever heard of me that’s how, but if you were to Google Rich Piana, Jordan Belfort, Warren Buffet or Jeff Bezos there will be wealth of information about them and just how much they achieved.

The thing with all of them is that they produce nothing, the same rhetoric each time, create a list blah, blah advertise on YouTube blah,blah, but build a list to do what, sell their ebook ? advertise on YouTube for what their course on how to advertise on YouTube ?, they have no value no substance and ultimately will not make real money think of the business and people that are worth money.

  • Amazon – $134.5 Billion
  • Elon Musk – $19.2 Billion
  • Microsoft – $717 Billion
  • Jordan Belfort – $100 Million

The best Advice you will ever get

I don’t want to get by, I don’t want to just make enough so that I struggle all year to be able to afford a holiday for a week then come back to bills and the prospect of struggling again for another year to go on another holiday, I want to live my life and I want my children and Mrs to live theirs and that means working my arse off now 8 days a week if required, my hero’s aren’t “Dailyincomedave” from surrey or “$1000 a day guaranteed using my system” from broke “millionairemike” from Alabama, they are people who have excelled in their field so much that the world knows their name, either through controversy, or sheer success these people have what it takes to live their lives, and the fact that the houses, cars, boats, planes and islands are part of that is a by-product it is not the goal, so start thinking really thinking about freedom and what it costs, and what that word means to you, and then go and get it and don’t stop till you have.

Practice the Preaching ep12

I had a setback today, or at least it felt like one, despite not going outside my diet and following my exercise schedule to the letter (very nearly) I had only a 1.4lb loss when weigh in day came round this morning.

To some that would seem perfectly acceptable but I have been striving for more of a loss as I am still at the stage where no matter how much effort I put in at the gym I will not put enough muscle on during a week to cancel out any substantial proportion of fat loss,

If I do however find the magic bullet for fat loss I will share it with you all right after I share it with the copyright office!

Now the reason for the long story about how I was gutted at my weight loss is actually to lead into an example of how much I have changed since taking my health and well being seriously, prior to this the response to this morning would have been to have a day off doing any activities “To re-centre myself” then promise that when I begin again tomorrow I will work harder, now I see these events as triggers rather than failures, and anything that doesn’t have the desired result in your journey should do the same.

Failure (noun)

A failure has happened, it is an event from which there is no recovery, it is a noun and it has no part in anybodies vocabulary when talking about their life, or life goals, once uttered the event that gets labelled as a failure acts as a wall, a barrier between you on one side and what you were looking to achieve on the other, if you are lucky you can push through the wall should a random act provide a resolution to the failure, but you don’t want to trust your life and happiness to luck now do you ?

Trigger (verb)

In contrast a trigger is a reaction to an event that might not have played out as you expected, it is the response to a situation good or bad, and it forces us to react, in this respect it is a continuation to a destination even if the path has changed, it is not stopping, there is no lack of momentum or stalling of drive and purpose, you have a situation or result and that triggers you to shape your actions to either avoid the current situation and change it or to move further along the same path but with more or less effort depending on the reaction required.

Response

Well your response is your response and it will be a reaction to whatever events you are evaluating, but in order to qualify that I am not simply trying to think up inspirational stories for followers and page views, I will explain my response to this trigger, I started to react predictably with some negative internal dialogue along the lines of, “this is it I have lost as much as I am going to” and “well bit of a setback I will have a day off and change something for next week” but this did not last, I reminded myself that I have had that conversation many times and it has never improved my life, ever, it is solely responsible for the state I found myself in leading to having to ask a shop assistant if they had any jeans bigger than a 56 inch waist,

Instead I looked at the result, and evaluated the parameters, effort in Vs results out, and in this case there had been some return but just not enough, so my response to this trigger ?, instead of walking 5k this morning I walked 7.89 and it took me 1hr 21min, when I got back to the house everything was hurting but I felt good, and the feeling wasn’t just physical, there is a huge mental boost to having a disappointment and answering that not by shrinking away but by literally expanding to be bigger than it and steam-rolling over it.

My opinion is that there are always going to be events in our lives that will floor us, and I mean all the inspirational memes and pep talks and jumping up and down clapping will have no effect at all, fortunately these are usually very very few and far between, the vast majority of events that we deal with are not like that, although it may seem like it at first, normally if you stop and look around you and the world looks the same as it did a minute previously you are all good.

Little Superhuman update

When I set out with this part of the goal was to secure financial freedom as well, and I am currently working on an article about that very thing, but I have got to make just this one comment before that really to justify why it hasn’t been touched on before, so far I have spent on average 6 hours a week looking at different schemes and businesses online, and while I believe 100% that there is gold them wires, the process to extract is NEVER as easy as 99.99999% of these advertisers claim, as harsh as that is the vast majority of these “millionaires” that are going to share their secrets with you for free are either some douche recruiting affiliates to funnel people into a scheme that recruits affiliates into a scheme that sells the scheme, remnants of these schemes either still be flogged by desperate 100th level recruits trying to wring the last nuts out of the thing or simply videos and single landing pages put up and waiting for their hosting money or view credits for “live webinars” to run out before going all 404 on everyone and at worst just straight out scams, but I am looking at real plans for real people to change their financial position and future, I have many issues that we discuss at length with the current global financial suppression of humans, where we are taught from an early age that we need a job and a mortgage that we can pay off before we retire so we don’t owe any money when we die, apparently this means we have won and we have been good citizens, the reality however, is that if I work when I want and I own a house with no mortgage, follow the pursuits in life that make me happy and can facilitate the same fate for my children, then I have won.

Honestly I am not some crazed revolutionist that believes in world without law and responsibility, that would be chaos and very very dangerous, as I have said before I am a humanist and I believe in humans being able to live their lives free from oppression and conscripted debt.

Main Photo by Abhiram Prakash from Pexels

Practice the Preaching ep8

First a Confession

I have let my not being well slow me down over the last week as far as my progress is concerned, Sure I managed to get a post out https://thetraineesuperhuman.wordpress.com/2019/05/26/fragility-of-dreams/ that was really well received (and I thank you all for that) but my training wandered a little and my concentration was not what it should have been, I believe the ailment is referred to (at least locally) as Man-flu I am not sure if this is a global epidemic or not but it did slow my roll so as to speak.

However that is behind me now and I am once again back on the clock, this morning went well at 4:30am and I completed a 5k walk and 20 minutes stretching all before breakfast.

As my illness left me and I started to get back into the other side of this journey (money) I got the ball rolling by signing up for Clickbank and having a look round there as well as doing some research on paid for advertising, additionally I started to have more of detailed look around at what other people are doing with affiliate marketing, and most of what I found actually annoyed me, some of the really big names (you will already be aware of them if you are also chasing this particular beast) appear over and over again selling just one thing, their course on how to be an affiliate! then I noticed during a simple 1 hour surfing session that there are a lot of people that sell one particular persons course on an affiliate basis, no doubt this will make some people some money, probably quite a lot but it all seems a little cynical does it not? I heard a comment once and for the life of me I cannot remember the name of the person that made it or I would credit them here (just know that it is not an original line) “you have to wonder which came first the Millionaire or the Guru ?”.

Anyhow I will get more into this in a later post, but as always keep breaking new ground every day, even an inch further than you were yesterday is an inch and means you start today from a better position.

Fragility of Dreams

Chasing Freedom Through Adversity

Firstly let’s get this out of the way, making millions on the internet is like winning the lottery in more ways than one, sure they both feel good and they both set you free and normally happen very fast, a lottery win means you go to bed one night not a millionaire and when you wake up you are (assuming you hit the jackpot of course) and the story appears to be very much the same with the internet, you work seemingly at nothing for a period of time and then you hit that one formula or niche that then sends you sky-rocketing.

But they also share another trait, the desire to participate is a personal decision and anybody who has bought a lottery ticket, just like watching the next “How I became a Millionaire in 7 short days” video, I would be willing to bet has sat and daydreamed about what their life would be like if that money was theirs.

It is our personal dream, our vision and our desire that we follow, and others (usually our closest friends and family) that start to question us as we spend more time researching and looking into how to start and what to do and start watching videos of people sounding very positive and in a lot of cases talking what appears to be non-sense about lifestyles and possessions reserved only for celebrities.

You see our dreams are fragile because we haven’t got anything to show for it yet, nothing physical to stand in our corner when people question what we are doing, what we hope to achieve and in the face of the age old question “if it was that easy wouldn’t everybody be doing it?” you have to protect that dream and hold on to it for dear life, because that is what we are buying, our lives back from the world.

It is so much harder to listen to and defend against negative views and comments from loved ones than the rest of the world, people outside our trusted social circle are easy to dismiss, they don’t know us, they don’t know anything about what we have achieved in the past or what the situation is now, so what possible value could their un-informed comment have?

But our closest circle, have listened to our plans (if you are anything like me probably at length and very enthusiastically), they do know us because the live with us or we see and speak to them on a very regular basis, and finally they are aware of what we have achieved in our lives so far, so their opinion cannot be dismissed so easily can it?

Well here is an odd way to think about it but try this, unless you are lucky enough to have a significant other/spouse, or an enthusiastic business partner that is following your progress and learning and has the same dream as you, then you need to cut them a break, don’t get angry when they question what you are doing and what the chances are, or how much do others make, even “well I don’t see how you can make money from it, it’s just [insert social media here] or why would people buy from you on [insert chosen affiliate program here]” sit down and calmly explain it to them, after all if you do not have the answers to hand then it is a valid question, if you don’t know what you are chasing then is it obtainable ? and if you do have the answers to hand, reciting them and educating your audience will only serve to further strengthen your resolve and cement the process in your own mind.

You cannot explain what it feels like to take off handcuffs for the first time, but you can vocalise the freedom of moving your arms.

Be patient with the people closest to you always, they only see the extra time and the stress and sometimes the disappointment caused by a set back or a plan deviation, a wife/husband may also see the bank balance going down with nothing coming in, and children can pick up on all this and more, when this happens STOP and think back to your images of success, look closely at the faces of the people in the images and make sure you do not alienate them because if you really think about it, those images without those faces are pretty grim.

Money in solitude is toxic, it turns in on us, chase freedom chase life and success, money will follow.

Photo by Bayu jefri from Pexels