A Conversation with the Mrs

Having only just started this I run pretty much every post past the Mrs to get her opinion on the content and the layout and so on just to make sure I don’t make myself look a clown with spelling mistakes and pictures of balloons when talking about fasting or contracts for difference, she usually makes the right noises and maintains just the right tone of enthusiasm without over doing it and arousing suspicion, however tonight this happens, “what do you think of my nutrition page?” “it is ok, yeah I like it” “ok?” “well I prefer the ones where you talk about the dog and the kids and stuff” “but I haven’t done any wi…..” no ice cube for the ego no ice cream to make me feel better just straight cold truth.

So with vision blurred through tears, I guess I better introduce myself, I thought I had but as she points out even my gravatar is the anonymous mask, so she may have a point.

Truth is I am actually quite a lucky man, I have an awesome wife and three awesome kids that are a constant source of comedy and stress, (not always equal measures) our two Cat’s spend an inordinate amount of time messing with my head, and the dog is as dumb as it is inoffensive, I am in I.T. (now the gravatar makes sense) but don’t panic the closest I get to anonymous is walking into a room and forgetting what I went in for (could possibly be attributed to the cats but I have yet to prove this).

So there it is, that is me, and I am sure that as the follower count drops through the floor I will post “A Conversation with the Mrs #2” where I discuss the death of my blog with the person that suggested I introduce myself!

Fragility of Dreams

Chasing Freedom Through Adversity

Firstly let’s get this out of the way, making millions on the internet is like winning the lottery in more ways than one, sure they both feel good and they both set you free and normally happen very fast, a lottery win means you go to bed one night not a millionaire and when you wake up you are (assuming you hit the jackpot of course) and the story appears to be very much the same with the internet, you work seemingly at nothing for a period of time and then you hit that one formula or niche that then sends you sky-rocketing.

But they also share another trait, the desire to participate is a personal decision and anybody who has bought a lottery ticket, just like watching the next “How I became a Millionaire in 7 short days” video, I would be willing to bet has sat and daydreamed about what their life would be like if that money was theirs.

It is our personal dream, our vision and our desire that we follow, and others (usually our closest friends and family) that start to question us as we spend more time researching and looking into how to start and what to do and start watching videos of people sounding very positive and in a lot of cases talking what appears to be non-sense about lifestyles and possessions reserved only for celebrities.

You see our dreams are fragile because we haven’t got anything to show for it yet, nothing physical to stand in our corner when people question what we are doing, what we hope to achieve and in the face of the age old question “if it was that easy wouldn’t everybody be doing it?” you have to protect that dream and hold on to it for dear life, because that is what we are buying, our lives back from the world.

It is so much harder to listen to and defend against negative views and comments from loved ones than the rest of the world, people outside our trusted social circle are easy to dismiss, they don’t know us, they don’t know anything about what we have achieved in the past or what the situation is now, so what possible value could their un-informed comment have?

But our closest circle, have listened to our plans (if you are anything like me probably at length and very enthusiastically), they do know us because the live with us or we see and speak to them on a very regular basis, and finally they are aware of what we have achieved in our lives so far, so their opinion cannot be dismissed so easily can it?

Well here is an odd way to think about it but try this, unless you are lucky enough to have a significant other/spouse, or an enthusiastic business partner that is following your progress and learning and has the same dream as you, then you need to cut them a break, don’t get angry when they question what you are doing and what the chances are, or how much do others make, even “well I don’t see how you can make money from it, it’s just [insert social media here] or why would people buy from you on [insert chosen affiliate program here]” sit down and calmly explain it to them, after all if you do not have the answers to hand then it is a valid question, if you don’t know what you are chasing then is it obtainable ? and if you do have the answers to hand, reciting them and educating your audience will only serve to further strengthen your resolve and cement the process in your own mind.

You cannot explain what it feels like to take off handcuffs for the first time, but you can vocalise the freedom of moving your arms.

Be patient with the people closest to you always, they only see the extra time and the stress and sometimes the disappointment caused by a set back or a plan deviation, a wife/husband may also see the bank balance going down with nothing coming in, and children can pick up on all this and more, when this happens STOP and think back to your images of success, look closely at the faces of the people in the images and make sure you do not alienate them because if you really think about it, those images without those faces are pretty grim.

Money in solitude is toxic, it turns in on us, chase freedom chase life and success, money will follow.

Photo by Bayu jefri from Pexels

Feeling Strong ?

Self-help and motivation has become very dear to my heart in recent years and I personally find it comforting that there a lot of people out there that do genuinely want to help, from the big names that fill auditoriums to the YouTube warriors that post incessantly, some with good intentions and morals and some with questionable motives largely found reciting industry standard rhetoric to a backdrop of a couple of piles of cash and some royalty free inspirational music, no names are required as we all have experienced these differing styles and their respective protagonists I imagine many times over.

Something happened to me specifically today, I had a moment of fear, a moment when the slow pace of progress closes round you like a cold encompassing blanket and seems to choke the energy right out of you, where all the carefully thought out plans and schemes suddenly seem unobtainable and you freeze unable to see a way forward.

Fear hits us all, I don’t care who or where you are, male or female, young or old, it is how we deal with it that counts and it is how we deal with it that will determine the pace at which you achieve your goals and in some cases if you ever do.

I have read a couple of books that are starting to suggest that we should maybe try and look for the good in what we have and not try to attain anything more, while this leaves me conflicted I do think it is a flawed and potentially harmful message, I mean people look to these places and people for inspiration and motivation, only to be told to not try to hard and look at the prospect of just being content with what you have, it must be a huge disappointment and for some difficult to recover from.

So here is a little mid-week motivation and each word is not only from my heart but it is fresh in my mind as I have gone through those emotions just today.

Feel strong, don’t question it just feel it look out into the open and just feel strong, remember that unless whatever is your main focus of concern is stood right in front of you with inevitable consequence, you have the opportunity to re-route your path, Think Slow Act Fast easy to say not easy to do when fear grips at your heart strings then climbs like an icicle up through your brain clouding your thoughts and play hide and seek with your emotion, but again stop and look around, things are almost always exactly the same as they were the moment before your fear went into overdrive, so whatever you do slow down your thoughts be methodical and then put those thoughts into action with the speed precision and purpose that only a razor sharp plan of action can command. Smash 100 percent everyday and in every action if you think slow forget fear and push your thoughts through to action with every ounce of strength you have you will move forward there is no two ways about it believe in your self and you are 80 percent there.

There is nothing wrong with being happy with the way things are, we are all searching for happiness and if you find it in getting by then that is genuinely awesome, however if that were the case I doubt you would be reading this blog.

Celebrate your husbands/wives/children and cherish them for what they are, your strength, motivation, the rock to cling to during a storm and the precious cargo you must protect as you set sail to a sunnier, happier less stressful land.

Everything else is just leverage.