Recognise and break the cycle of destructive self prophecy.

Regardless of how bizarre a theory sounds (and these are all theories at best psuedo science at worst) the classification of a theory changes with the amount of people that believe it to be correct, a theory becomes and idea, and idea becomes an inspiration, inspiration becomes research and research leads to documentation which then becomes widely regarded as fact, and one such theory is self-fulfilling prophecy, or our ability to somehow place a barrier to a goal or state of being based on our constant denial of our ability to achieve.

Discussion

I love bodybuilding, I really do, it has been part of my life now for 31 years, but I have always had my own personal doubts as to my ability to compete so I never did, I simply carried on training but never even tried to compete or diet down for that matter, why? because I had already decided that I would not be able to, now at the risk of sounding like I am trying to brag (which I assure you I am not) a quick idea of what I did achieve is, I had 38 inch thighs, a 32 inch waist and was rapidly growing out of 56 inch chest jackets, so at the tender age of 19 I was actually doing quite well, so why didn’t I compete ? well it is a lot of extra work and pain, lifting big weights when you have lots of calories and the right amount of protein and supplements going in is easy but the same tasks dieted down not so much, and after all I was not good enough so why bother?

Progress in any form of life is normally facilitated by the perseverance or person through the application of pain or discomfort, for every goal there is a sacrifice and we weigh up the benefits of an action against the potential cost every day in a mostly sub conscious state.

Method

Realisation of the reasons for failure is the key, you can take a person who feels they cannot do something and put them in a position where they have either no choice or to not do it would cost more than to participate and they can find that extra something deep inside and complete the task, moreover you generally find that they then go on to repeat the task in the future without concern and can become quite good at it or very comfortable with the feeling, that is what we are trying to achieve in our daily lives, and the initial key is to understand why the “self-fulfilling prophecy” is so detrimental and what we must do to get around it.

I it simply because in that moment we made a decision, a decision based on the pain level we were feeling and the possibility of relieving it by carrying out an action that was unpleasant or counter intuitive to our beliefs or fears but nevertheless it was the better option, what we lack in our daily lives is the impetus to make the decision, just as people live with failing eyesight through the ageing process until it gets so bad that they have to go to the opticians we adapt to the pain and stress of our lives as it is applied gradually from birth, what we need to do is recognise that the limits we set are indeed set by us and the same delivery of dialogue that oppresses and controls us , if altered to a positive message will free us from not only the bonds of society but from the boundaries we set ourselves through lack of belief in our own ability.

Begin by taking each situation you find yourself in that is painful or stressful and reinforce to yourself that you do not deserve it, you deserve a better life, and it is within your power to attain the solution and to live that better life, conversely when enjoying yourself actively remind yourself that you do deserve this and that you have worked for that moment of calm or day in the sun, by doing this we change any negative self fulfilling prophecy and turn it into a positive and through practice and action derived from personal reinforcement of a positive message and a belief that you deserve a better life you will change your actions to suit your goals.

Conclusion

I believe, truly believe that while we are a product of upbringing and environment we also have the ability to change our lives for whatever we decide we deserve or we should be doing, modern life has a need to keep people within boxes and limitations in order to prop up the financial culture of debt and the insecurity in social circles that feeds that debt culture, life is far to short to remain in a planetary gear in the corporate debt machine, it isn’t fair and the fact is that although a level Utopian playing field would be nice, we passed the time to make that change at the beginning of civilisation, now is the time to fight for the happiness and success of yourself and your loved ones by living your best life.

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Somebody hurt you? don't feel down use it as a springboard to success

Most of us have been there, stuck at the back end of a failed relationship or social situations that don’t go right, employers that don’t value you, and it starts to feel like there is no way out, things will never change and you get depressed.

It is easy at these times to start self deprecating behaviours, in desperation from a break from the pain or pressure we turn to drink, drugs, eat more or less, anything to give us control of a situation or remove the feeling even if for a brief moment.

Discussion

During a fight or an argument I have never seen somebody begin punching themselves or start to shout down their own opinions, this is became we are fighting for something, the imposition of our will over another, or control of a situation from somebody who was out to harm us, this is because it would be counter intuitive to do so as harming yourself will not win the situation over,

So why do we allow ourselves to act that way when faced with stress and pressure of life or say the end of a relationship ?

There is no better revenge than being in shape and successful, this was said to me quite some time ago now, and there has been many anecdotal evidence of it in my life and I am sure that there has been in yours if you think it through.

Conclusion

Any kind of detrimental action is only going to exacerbate things more and lead you to feeling worse, you should look to improve your life and focus on the positives no matter how difficult they are to find, build on them and create a different reality than the one you are not happy with, people will act in a way they think is acceptable both in interpersonal matters and official, nearly all situations can be controlled if we take ownership of it and act in our own best interest, sometimes it is time to be selfish.

Dealing with Despair

The mind is a funny thing and is far more complicated than we will ever know (at the very least in my lifetime) and occasionally it can seem to be working against us, plans that are carefully laid are doubted and things we decide are true and right are questioned, and this effect is further magnified the longer our plans take to come into fruition, one of the many problems with this is that it can distract us, suddenly we start looking for alternatives to the plans we have laid, and start re-examining facts and figures that previously we were sure of.

Dealing with this is tricky, we must learn to understand the difference between doubt and intuition, many times in your life so far you will have felt that something is either good or bad in an instant, it is that innate ability that we all have, however it’s brutal honest nature often gets it ignored in favour of a path that is more to our liking, I personally have a fascination with intuition, precognition and the undeveloped abilities of the mind in general, but I will expand that later.

Doubt on the other hand tends to be the re-evaluation of known facts in the absence of any additional information, we let our minds wander in quiet times and inevitably you will start to concentrate on subjects that are of paramount importance.

The only way to deal with this is to actively fight against it and remember to do this with some considerable effort, years can be wasted allowing negative thoughts and emotions to slow us down stop us from progressing.

As a quick example of how I have learnt to deal with the darker moments, have a look at the three points below.

What am I worried about?

What are you worried about, I mean that literally, stop and ask yourself, “So what is the problem?” and list (on paper if it is easier for you to visualise) what exactly it is that is worrying you, this can be anything and you can be brutally honest with yourself at this point, no matter how you think your fears would be received by anybody else write them down, the only person reading it will be you.

Evaluate your worries

With that done to be honest you may feel slightly worse, that would be a normal response to a sudden listing of everything that is worrying us, but this is where you have to really fight, and fight as if your life depends on it, because allowing these negative internal influences can literally rob you of portions of your life, and that isn’t right even if it is you that’s doing it,

Look at each one and consider it carefully, what are the chances of it happening? what would the outcome be if it did happen? is there any mitigating action that can be taken? and one I personally use, is this happening right now? if not you can relax instantly because if it is not happening now then you have time to prepare and be ready for it even if the answers to the first questions aren’t ideal.

Crowd out the negative with positive

Now start to focus on the answers to your worries as identified by you, these are the positive actions you can take that make the worries that are plaguing you worthless, concentrating on these you can see that as each worry or problem is negated it will just diminish until it no longer exists, in fact as an exercise it may well be that the additional focus on the answers to the worries/problems actually brings stronger and more productive answers allowing you to solve problems quicker.

Depression

Depression is a serious matter however and if you start to feel that no matter what you do to cope you just can’t lift yourself out of this spiral, you should contact one of the various organisations that are there to help, starting with your GP / Doctor, we all deserve the best chance at life but unfortunately society can be cruel, peer groups, governments and their agencies, finance companies, social media can and will all take their toll, and for the most part the people involved don’t even give enough thought to their victims to consider the impact of their actions, so at least it is not personal, what you have to do is reach out to the other side of society, there is many good people around that want to help, some for money sure, but others literally because they want to help, if you ask they will answer, don’t let yourself become another statistic of the system.

Main Photo by Nathan Cowley from Pexels