Recognise and break the cycle of destructive self prophecy.

Regardless of how bizarre a theory sounds (and these are all theories at best psuedo science at worst) the classification of a theory changes with the amount of people that believe it to be correct, a theory becomes and idea, and idea becomes an inspiration, inspiration becomes research and research leads to documentation which then becomes widely regarded as fact, and one such theory is self-fulfilling prophecy, or our ability to somehow place a barrier to a goal or state of being based on our constant denial of our ability to achieve.

Discussion

I love bodybuilding, I really do, it has been part of my life now for 31 years, but I have always had my own personal doubts as to my ability to compete so I never did, I simply carried on training but never even tried to compete or diet down for that matter, why? because I had already decided that I would not be able to, now at the risk of sounding like I am trying to brag (which I assure you I am not) a quick idea of what I did achieve is, I had 38 inch thighs, a 32 inch waist and was rapidly growing out of 56 inch chest jackets, so at the tender age of 19 I was actually doing quite well, so why didn’t I compete ? well it is a lot of extra work and pain, lifting big weights when you have lots of calories and the right amount of protein and supplements going in is easy but the same tasks dieted down not so much, and after all I was not good enough so why bother?

Progress in any form of life is normally facilitated by the perseverance or person through the application of pain or discomfort, for every goal there is a sacrifice and we weigh up the benefits of an action against the potential cost every day in a mostly sub conscious state.

Method

Realisation of the reasons for failure is the key, you can take a person who feels they cannot do something and put them in a position where they have either no choice or to not do it would cost more than to participate and they can find that extra something deep inside and complete the task, moreover you generally find that they then go on to repeat the task in the future without concern and can become quite good at it or very comfortable with the feeling, that is what we are trying to achieve in our daily lives, and the initial key is to understand why the “self-fulfilling prophecy” is so detrimental and what we must do to get around it.

I it simply because in that moment we made a decision, a decision based on the pain level we were feeling and the possibility of relieving it by carrying out an action that was unpleasant or counter intuitive to our beliefs or fears but nevertheless it was the better option, what we lack in our daily lives is the impetus to make the decision, just as people live with failing eyesight through the ageing process until it gets so bad that they have to go to the opticians we adapt to the pain and stress of our lives as it is applied gradually from birth, what we need to do is recognise that the limits we set are indeed set by us and the same delivery of dialogue that oppresses and controls us , if altered to a positive message will free us from not only the bonds of society but from the boundaries we set ourselves through lack of belief in our own ability.

Begin by taking each situation you find yourself in that is painful or stressful and reinforce to yourself that you do not deserve it, you deserve a better life, and it is within your power to attain the solution and to live that better life, conversely when enjoying yourself actively remind yourself that you do deserve this and that you have worked for that moment of calm or day in the sun, by doing this we change any negative self fulfilling prophecy and turn it into a positive and through practice and action derived from personal reinforcement of a positive message and a belief that you deserve a better life you will change your actions to suit your goals.

Conclusion

I believe, truly believe that while we are a product of upbringing and environment we also have the ability to change our lives for whatever we decide we deserve or we should be doing, modern life has a need to keep people within boxes and limitations in order to prop up the financial culture of debt and the insecurity in social circles that feeds that debt culture, life is far to short to remain in a planetary gear in the corporate debt machine, it isn’t fair and the fact is that although a level Utopian playing field would be nice, we passed the time to make that change at the beginning of civilisation, now is the time to fight for the happiness and success of yourself and your loved ones by living your best life.

Helpful Links

Somebody hurt you? don't feel down use it as a springboard to success

Most of us have been there, stuck at the back end of a failed relationship or social situations that don’t go right, employers that don’t value you, and it starts to feel like there is no way out, things will never change and you get depressed.

It is easy at these times to start self deprecating behaviours, in desperation from a break from the pain or pressure we turn to drink, drugs, eat more or less, anything to give us control of a situation or remove the feeling even if for a brief moment.

Discussion

During a fight or an argument I have never seen somebody begin punching themselves or start to shout down their own opinions, this is became we are fighting for something, the imposition of our will over another, or control of a situation from somebody who was out to harm us, this is because it would be counter intuitive to do so as harming yourself will not win the situation over,

So why do we allow ourselves to act that way when faced with stress and pressure of life or say the end of a relationship ?

There is no better revenge than being in shape and successful, this was said to me quite some time ago now, and there has been many anecdotal evidence of it in my life and I am sure that there has been in yours if you think it through.

Conclusion

Any kind of detrimental action is only going to exacerbate things more and lead you to feeling worse, you should look to improve your life and focus on the positives no matter how difficult they are to find, build on them and create a different reality than the one you are not happy with, people will act in a way they think is acceptable both in interpersonal matters and official, nearly all situations can be controlled if we take ownership of it and act in our own best interest, sometimes it is time to be selfish.

If You Don't Believe in You – how do you expect anybody else to?

Have you ever met somebody who is just so confident that they light up the room? people listen to what they have to say and try to do what they can to please that person ?

That is self-belief in action, These days with political correctness and everybody being offended by everything they can find so they can go and complain about it on social media hoping to get the next viral post that we have all stopped thinking about how we treat ourselves.

The inner voices are just as destructive as the external pressures on us, and we cannot “log out” of these, rather they come to us in the dead of the night and stop us sleeping, if we manage to drift of they haunt us in our dreams.

Their is no difference between you and the confident person who manages to bend society to their will, other than they believe and trust in themselves, every action and effort comes from a belief that they are able to do whatever task it is, from learning a new skill to influencing a room of investors.

What I want you to do

This morning, evening or night, just start to believe in yourself, always reinforce your belief in your mind, body and soul, repeat it like a mantra every time you feel unsure or unable to do something, remember failure is almost never because you cannot, it is simply that you have tried for the first time, you will find that as soon as you start believing people around you will change and you will fall over themselves to help you achieve your goals.

Living without borders – your choice not society.

Since the dawn of civilisation man has sought to dominate his fellow man (and women and woman), this appears to be the core of human nature, we seem programmed to either dictate or obey, and I am sure that you are well aware of what type of person you are, the dictators are headstrong and already questioning my point of view, let alone my audacity at voicing it, and the obedient are already nodding in approval at my clumsy summing up of all human nature in less than a single paragraph.

I have never made any secret that I wanted to start this blog to make some money, it is on all previous posts and of course you can see the advertising plastered anywhere on this site that WordPress will allow, but I also wanted to offer my opinion on life and the ways that we can recognise oppression no matter how stealthily it is applied.

Authority

I am no revolutionist calling for the dissolution of government and law in order to be free, the loss of these things would only result in control and oppression from another source, society needs rules and controls in place in order to provide safety and security to the masses, and it is under this guise that we are controlled by stealth in a way more sinister and in an order of magnitude that few will ever give consideration to.

What is Life About?

This depends on your point of view, there are two schools of thought.

Coporate

  1. Learn while at school
  2. Leave school and get a job or go to university and get a better job
  3. Pay TAX and buy things on credit
  4. Save the rest of your money in order to pay for old age and infirmity
  5. Pay off all debts before you reach the end of your working life
  6. Enjoy up to ten years existence before finally dying and leaving space for the next cog in the machine

My View (and increasingly the view of others)

  1. Learn life skills in addition to academia individually focused, the same people that tell us we are all unique are also providing our children with a “one size fits all” education system
  2. Be encouraged to start a business or learn a skill that is relevant or that you have an interest in regardless of gender, race or any other barrier society can think of
  3. Pay TAX and contribute to the well being of your fellow human, sounds odd me saying this but TAX is what underpins civilised society and civic resource without it life would be very very grim
  4. Make enough money to not have to worry about money
  5. Retain the right to anonymity and privacy within the borders of civilised behaviour
  6. Live a fulfilled life where time is spent being productive and forming relationships in equal measure
  7. The right to equality, actual equality where no one person is given an advantage over another regardless of age, race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, or lifestyle choice

The Origin of Your Borders

All behaviour is learned once we get past the simple functions of breathing and the desire to eat and drink to sustain ourselves, our tastes our likes and dislikes and desires and aspirations are all a product of our education during the most formative times in our lives Childhood and it is this very programming most of us need to break in order to remove the borders we have built because we were taught to, and this is not always a bad thing, parents on the whole teach us what they think we need to know to keep us safe, we are taught to avoid fire and learn to swim to avoid drowning and social skills in order to not feel alone and make our place in society, and it is also a generational thing, generations have held different things in importance, and this has been passed on to the children who have interpreted it and applied it to their reality like a giant game of Chinese whispers, this is then shaped by peer groups and ultimately partners and the responsibility of children in adult life, but what if what you knew was not true or what you were told was designed to extract money time and life from you ?, a heads up would be nice.

Heads up!

Imagine somebody knocking on your door and coming into your house, complaining about how draughty it was and how cold it was, asking about your energy bills and seeming shocked and appalled at how much it was costing you, this goes on for an hour or so and then they announce themselves as a double glazing salesman, you would question everything they said from the outset, why? because they profit from the system they are selling you, well society is the same, and it must be approached the same, the rules and regulations are all drawn up by the very people that stand to profit from the rules and regulations, and while, as I have stated rules and regulation are required for civilised society to function, you should question the design, look past the glossy brochure of a 3 bed semi detached and a nice family car on finance, booking holidays on credit cards and spending nearly every waking hour on social media.

I am not even remotely trying to tell anybody how to live their life, I am just saying that if you are happy truly happy then fine, you do not need to do anything, just simply go on about your lives as you do now happy and content, but if something niggles you in the night or when you see the next reality star millionaire while you are struggling to put food on the table for your family then start a different thought process to the one you have now, and start asking questions.

What the Hell is my Point ?

This is the point, life is a one time deal, until proved otherwise we are here for one go only and this means we have a finite amount of time, the system isn’t set up to favour the intelligent the brave or noble, it is set up for people that know how to play the game, that is why when you go to work 9 – 5 everyday of your life, pay off your mortgage and only take one holiday a year, you end up struggling through old age and if you have to go into sheltered housing or the care system any legacy that you may have in the form of the house you worked so hard to pay off is sold to relieve the burden on the countries fortunes, whereas people that go on TV or post regularly to social media or can get finance, seem to operate with impunity, they live lavish lifestyles and have all the time in the world to build relationships with partners and children, sadly they mostly just can’t cope with the money and end up broke with a drug habit.

So this is my point, the borders you have to wealth happiness and peace of mind are constructed at an early age by the education system and peers, you (without realising it) then perpetuate these borders as you go through life re-enforcing them and in some cases using them as an excuse for an unsuccessful life, but there is another way.

Rule for Success

This is what I suggest, follow it if you will but at least think about it, Failure is a fact of life, there are many many things that we will fail at, either we just are not capable of doing something or we lack aptitude for a certain discipline, but failure cannot exist without a catalysing action, and this is where your borders are hurting you and holding you back, an example from my own experience is this, I was homeless and in need of a job, I had no money and no way to get any, I have always suffered from a fear of heights it at one point in my life was debilitating it was that bad, but this situation was worse, I saw a construction job that involved working away advertised and went for it, it would solve my accommodation issue (if only during the working week) and would provide enough money for food and at the very least a hotel at the weekend to stay in, so I went for it, my first duty was as a grouter, this meant that I had to climb up a ladder in a newly constructed skeleton of a building and pour concrete into the joints, this was in the open with no safety rails just a ladder and a hard hat, prior to this I had to cork the joint, which meant leaning out over the side of the building and pushing foam into the joint, I froze at the bottom of the ladder, and nearly refused to go up, people were watching and it was a little intense, I had told others and been referred to as the one afraid of heights all my life, but I needed the job and the place to stay, so I climbed, and by the third time I was running up the ladder, without any thought to the height or the great expanses of open space, because I removed the border to my progression, because it was self imposed, I perpetuated the conditioning and therefore I could change it, the border didn’t really exist,

And this is what I am suggesting you do, when you think of doing something and the inner voice says that “it’ll never work” or “you can’t because you are no good at it” stop and realise that it is not real it is a product of control exercised throughout your formative life that you need to rid yourself of, forget the border and try, if you fail you fail but you will never again think “what if?”

Becoming Pro-Active – The Pain Before the Glory

It is not rocket science that if you have lived a life a certain way for an extended period of time a sudden 180 change is going to take some effort and unfortunately some pain, the issue with a reactive existence is that it becomes very tiring, every situation that requires attention becomes added pressure and a burden, you will have found yourself saying “why me?” and wishing you had a day that wasn’t filled with the stress of juggling so many issues and invariably payments, well that day is coming believe me it is within the vast majority of peoples grasp and usually within a perfectly reasonable period of time.

The majority of the stress caused by debt and a reactive lifestyle actually stems from the time that is required to complete the various to keep your head above water, this ranges from extra shifts/hours at work, taking a second job or waiting on hold for an adviser along with many others that also owe the company money, there are 438000 hours in 50 years (the majority of peoples working life) once you take away the 127750 hours for sleep (assuming 7 hours a night, which if you are reading this you probably don’t get) that leaves 310250 waking hours, now I am not going to go into the time spent brushing our teeth and walking the dog but you get the idea, time is finite, it does not bend to our will and it does end, so let’s try and spend less of it doing things we don’t like and more that we do.

Quantify, Quantify, Quantify

I have said it before and I will say it again, the very first thing we need to do is quantify the problem, get a fresh notepad from the store and sit down with a coffee and literally write out everything you owe and who too, depending on how much you have ignored this will probably be the most painful part of this process as the page builds up into a seemingly indestructible wall of issues, also include not only debts but all the things that you need to do in order to make your life easier, documentation that hasn’t been updated from when you last moved or a niggling pain that you need to see the doctor, even down to your job / career that you either want to change or improve,

once it is there stop and take a look around, nothing has changed as a result of writing this down, your life is no worse than it was before you started, in fact it is now better, for possibly the first time in your life you are now in control, you now have the jump on all your creditors, your boss, and the thoughts that creep into your mind and keep you awake in the early hours of the morning, this sheet and this notebook are now a map to peace of mind, something that should never be for sale but we sell it before we even know what it is.

Begin

This as I have said previously is the key, to BEGIN if this notebook now gets shut and never looked at again then what use is it? you haven’t alleviated the problems by writing it down yo have just catalogued your issues, power is nothing without control and you now have created both, don’t shut the book on it and walk away.

Conclusion

Please look back on https://thetraineesuperhuman.com/2020/02/06/proactive-or-reactive-win-or-lose-its-your-choice/ if you have just reached this page for any background to the above, helping people understand the reality of what is holding them back or down is something I am passionate about so please subscribe as we go further through this journey and start living the lives we deserve.

Proactive or reactive? win or lose it's your choice

I have spent a lot of my time talking about how to improve your health and your wealth, I and millions of others (you included) are all chasing the dream of financial independence, we live it, breathe it and try every day to find the one thing that will push us over the threshold and onto the land of milk and honey, but, how many times have you stopped to think what that threshold is ? what is the goal all about, and after all what is financial independence really?

There are some who believe in a new form of slavery, not bonds of chains and rope but rather we are bound be finance agreements and mortgages, and I have to say that after having given it some thought I have to agree, everywhere we look there is an advert for the latest thing we need to own or do or go to in order to feel successful, and a valued member of society, well it is on the latter that I wish to start.

Society

If you stop and have a look around it is not difficult to see the holes in the fabric of society, consumerism has become king and we have started to allow the creation of global mega corporations that control all aspects of our lives, more now than at any in history society as a whole has become obsessed with consuming and the acquisition of goods, in the absence of leisure activities able to keep up with our “on demand” expectations we have created our own digital escapism and in turn been infected by it’s influence, the YouTube stars we created through our own boredom are now the billionaires that we look up to and aspire to be, we have attempted to become gods and we have failed, en mass we are declaring bankruptcy and filing for divorce children are uprooted and their loyalties tested as parents scrabble for the last vestment of their borrowed life, meanwhile war, famine and global poverty rage through the developing countries like a storm across a meadow, destroying the crops and killing off life with no remorse, so we turn to mentors, motivational speakers and preachers for answers, so desperate that we do not check any credential preferring instead to listen to the mantra of success and happiness that will extinguish the darkness we have created in our lives.

Pretty Grim right? although I have taken some artistic licence I do stand by the above completely, social media has provided a platform for easy money and peoples true colours are showing through, girls young and old post erotic pictures to gain followers and money, lads generally set about doing bizarre things on video in order to attract enough followers to be rich, and motivation evangelists preach their lessons on a 24hr loop to get your subscription, the problem with this is simple, if we created this phenomenon then what can we learn from it? it has been formed by us for us and now we turn to it to help make our lives better?.

Reactive Living

This is an example of reactive living, and it is probably the most destructive thing we do, it will prevent you from truly excelling or changing your situation or (as is my main motivation) making a better life for your children and partners.

You see most of us live in a reactive state, a problem comes along and we react (because we have to) we see what needs to be done and somehow we find a way and do it, but stop for a moment, is this the best way ? has being reactive ever got anybody anywhere has it ever been a good solid way to plan a future? the answer is no, if you have to react to a situation it means the situation has become critical within it’s own context of course, and if you have ignored a bill for instance and then a collector arrives on the doorstep you have to react and it always costs more money than it would have to speak to the creditor and work something out, if you are falling off a ladder because you did not secure it properly you will need to react, sure you could aim for a bush or a porch that can break your fall, but you are still going to hurt yourself a lot more than if you secured the ladder correctly and didn’t fall.

In short a reaction tends to save a situation and you can always say “it could have been worse” but what we don’t stop to say is “it should have been better”, over time we have been taught to react, to allow things to get to a critical point and then to make one big herculean effort to clean up the mess, it is what finance and relationships and social media have come to be about, and yet when you speak to successful people nine times out of ten they had a plan, sure they had to react to situations, Richard Branson had to react during his bankruptcies, but the plan remained the same, the drive and the pro-action were identical to the plan prior to the set back, and in this respect a retaliation to a set back is not reactive living it is enforcing your will upon resistance to your cause.

Pro-active Living

Have you ever wondered when you look at the huge swathes of people that are successful how they got there? in some cases it is easy to see, expert business people who have studied and learned their trade only to make it in their chosen profession or career, to entrepreneurs who picked the right product at the right time and made a fortune probably after a whole load of products that didn’t, but this now extends to the social media types who are famous for nothing more than being famous, they have sold out themselves in some cases and in others they have sold out their children and families for fame and fortune, and for the ones that have really made it there is a lot of fame and fortune, while I hold the majority of the latter in complete disdain it is not because of money, it is because they feel that they have something to give the world other than the tedium that is their life supported by the bored and lonely and they try to educate when they used luck and being pro-active to get where they are not intelligence and reason, you see the one thing that cannot be taken away form these people is the fact that they just did it, whatever it was they decided to do they got up and started, they took a pro-active stance on life and changed the world if not for everybody else then at least for themselves.

And that is the moral of this post, being pro-active should not need any explanation as to how it makes your life better, if you pro-actively change your energy suppliers before the tariff changes you do not lose the money that they take between the charges going up and you noticing enough to do something about it, if you start a business and keep going at it always trying to get that step further along you will be successful in no matter what you do, and you don’t need any earth shattering idea to do it, you just need to shout louder than the other guy, health works on the same principle, if you leave your health until you are hugely overweight and unwell it will take longer to get right again and you will pay the cost of that time of being unhealthy through long term illness or ailment, mental health too, if you start to feel that you are struggling then see someone immediately do not wait until you have drawn a blade across your wrist and are asked why in the emergency room, one of the best things about this as a strategy is it is simple to do, you just have to do it, pick up the phone, design the website, go to the gym or sit down with your partner and work stuff out, but do it and do it now, start today and make a better future for yourself by yourself as nobody else can do it for you no matter how much they may want to.

Stop watching Porn – and other distractions.

The world is a distracting place that is a fact, and this is not a new thing, historically it has been this way since one person wanted to sell something to another, the only way to do this was through advertising, and so we have moved through many years of experimentation with newspapers and bill boards, radio and TV, and now the internet and tracking algorithms.

This really isn’t an attack on the porn industry (or any other for that matter) mainstream porn i.e. involving consensual adults has it’s place in societies fabric just like any other form of entertainment, but it is the way in which it and other distractions that are targeted that is the issue to the aspiring entrepreneur or student, as these adverts or “Calls to action” are almost almost unavoidable.

Size of the problem.

OK so to continue down the rabbit hole of Porn, the most famous site (no need to name check I feel) had in 2019 115 million visitors a week, as opposed to Udemy, which reported that in 2019 it’s student registration rose to the heady heights of 30 million, an impressive number but vastly skewed, the fact is that humans on the whole have always chosen the path of least resistance, it is in our DNA, this way we tended to live longer and to be able to thrive when opportunity presented itself and survive during times of hardship as we had energy in reserve, so we will look for an easy way to get the reward hormone dopamine, and when we are looking for ways to get this without having to do much more than a couple of mouse clicks it is there in abundance, and not just the Adult variety, when was the last time you found yourself in YouTube spiral where it just kept suggesting new videos and before you knew it you had spent an hour watching stuff 90% of which you hadn’t even asked for?

Why this is bad.

To illustrate this ironically we just need to look at the people we envy the most and how this is changing as we go further into the machine, not so long ago our people envy was the confine of rock and film stars, merchant bankers and the elite business people such as Richard Branson and Elon Musk, but as times change we are looking in other places and the distractions from the day to day tedium are becoming the single source of dopamine, YouTube, Instagram, Snapchat, Messaging, online video, bloggers, vloggers, and tutorials, and that is not to mention all the get rich using my system folks, all these distractions simply make money for the people that have figured out the system, they have embraced the new world and are using it to make their corner comfy at the expense of the masses.

So what do I suggest ?

After all I am trying to make my bit of the world cosier by writing this blog and putting advertising on it aren’t ?, well yes I am and no doubt the vast majority or people reading this will have their own blogs and other social media, that they are trying to make money from all chasing the dream of the “laptop lifestyle” we hear so much about, and this is fine I am not suggesting that we stop doing or searching for what we like to see, hear or read on the internet, my point is that of paramount importance is the time we spend being productive against the time we spend kicking back congratulating ourselves on being masters of our own destiny while following an algorithm designed to draw you in through adverts or video interests or even music, there are a host of applications out there to help remove the distractions and the advertisements from browser based ad removers to running a raspberry pi on your network with something like pi-hole running on it, that blocks ads and uses blacklists to help protect against surfing to malicious websites, but really the best defence is to be mindful, try and complete any tasks that are going to improve your life or forward your business, blog, vlog or online company before sitting down and allowing the internet to suck you in and take hours of your time.

Conclusion

Time is finite thing and I personally have wasted so much of it that it is almost criminal, stop being distracted and look at everything in terms of cost, how much time will this cost me and for what reward ?

if the time is equal to or less than the reward it is a good thing if not then, it should be regarded as a leisure activity and done after work has been completed, the rush of dopamine you will get from financial independence and abundance, will last for a lifetime and far outweigh the hour or so pleasure following the internet as it twists and turns our minds and wallets wringing out as much profit as it can.