Believe it or not this is not actually a joke clickbait headline, I really have worked out the best way to make money online and I will share it with you in due course.
But first we need to talk about the elephant in the room, the thing that is only ever talked about in the fine print of all these courses offered online by any number of slick looking Gurus “results not guaranteed”, I started looking for a way to make money online around the same time as I started this blog, in fact it was part of my mission statement when beginning and introducing myself to the wider world, I shared a belief (that I still hold) that everybody should endeavour to be the best they can be, physically, mentally and financially, and in fact it is really common to see that you do not find one of the trio without at least one of the other two, this isn’t to satisfy Instagram or to be able to put two fingers up at people that teased you at school or a parent who told you you were worthless, no it is because you deserve it, as does everybody else, you deserve to live the best life you can and be as happy and comfortable as you can be, and having at least two of the three points means that life is easier and achieving the third is all that more possible.
That was four months ago, and I am still no closer to receiving penny one of any online earned money, because nothing has ever proved to be worthy of investment, I have attended “live” webinars, I have followed adverts to the very end to receive the free guide to email marketing or whatever and I have always found myself in the same familiar loop of an upsell to another course, usually in the thousands of dollars, it really is no wonder that these people are millionaires, but absolutely nothing that was anything more than selling the course that I was buying.
There are some who say that the Internet has provided more ways for people to become rich than there has ever been before, and I guess in a way that is probably right, but you need an idea, you need something of value and use the Internet to sell that something of value, simply paying for somebody to teach you how to do affiliate marketing is not going to make you an affiliate marketer anymore than shouting fuck a lot and wearing a woolly hat will make you Gary Vee, and frankly some of the ideas that people try and sell are just dangerous, from hijacking peoples buisness adverts to re-directing there business calls and then asking for a percentage, creating cheap knocked up video adverts and getting ranked first for a video search on google then phoning and asking for money based on this achievement.
All these and many more equally stupid ideas are broadcast hourly into our consciousness by YouTube and Instagram and even Blogs, like this one, they are noise, complete and utter noise and worse than that they are scams and costly ones, I did have a moment though where I thought what if? and I watched a video by a guy claiming that you could make $3 to $5 dollars and hour “hands off” watching videos at a website, I tried it, I even added it to a blog post and invited people to go and have a look, you see 3-5 Dollars is not a great amount but if it is per hour and you can earn it without having to spend time doing something then it is not to be turned down, that would be like me calling you and saying I would like to give you $4 an hour (for arguments sake) for doing nothing at all and you saying no, you just wouldn’t, I don’t think anybody would it is money for nothing, however it was not without it’s issues, firstly the 3-5 was more like 6 pence, in fact it was 6 pence, the video makers suggestion that you could open many tabs also fell flat on it’s face as the website detects you are doing this and cuts the video streams, in fact you could only open 10 at most, and the mathematics just does not add up, because 10 times 6 is 60p and that would have to be one hell of a conversion rate to make that work!
No this was another example of offering something free to simply upsell based on a feeling of established trust with the provider, you see he offers you this for free, it won’t make you rich but if you have no money at all you can do this right now to make some and then try the big money making idea that he has later with all your passively earned income , accept it doesn’t work out you are still skint but everything he said was true, well it was true-ish, I mean you didn’t make the $4 an hour but you did make some, and yeah you can cash out by PayPal but only after you have taken $50 in vouchers or some such rubbish first, but he was honest and he did say he was making a lot of money doing this other thing, you have a look and get out the $599 dollars it costs for that course because he is a good guy.
The pitch is as old as the hills, as is the self deprecating pitch, “don’t believe me? I wouldn’t either after all you don’t know me but…….” is also everywhere reeling desperate people in because they empathise with your natural cynicism, this is what has bothered me the most and prompted me to write this post, hopefully making people think twice before supporting the lifestyles of these most useless of members of society.
It Must Work for Some, Surely?
Yes it does, or more accurately yes it did, you see there is a myth that the Internet is infinite, and as I have discussed before while that is far from true it also doesn’t mean that you cannot still become mega rich from it, so lets take a case of Pewdiepie, he started in 2006 when YouTube had just 65,000 uploaded videos and 10 million users a month, and he now earns 8 million a month, so it can be done right? what if I told you that YouTube now has 300 hours of video uploaded every minute 24 hrs a day 365 days a year, with 5 billion viewed a day between 30 million users, you see no matter how big something is you can fill it, and Mr Kjellberg is not going to step aside to allow you to make a name for yourself, and don’t look to Google to shoot one of their Golden Geese to help a struggling YouTuber, it doesn’t seem quite so attainable now does it ? in fact it is not, despite what people will tell you, why shouldn’t Pewdiepie tell you just to be yourself and you will get the views, what has he got to lose? to be honest 8 million a month if he is right!
Avoid These Like the Plague
- Survey schemes – there is no better way to waste your time for no gain at all than taking part in 99 percent of online-surveys, they are useless at best and just information gathering at worst, and there is never any money at the end of it just gift cards or points that can be exchanged when you have a hundreds of them.
- Watch videos/ads for money – think about it for a minute advertisers pay like $5 for a thousand views, so how much is the company likely to pay you to watch them ?
- Live webinar invites – So far I have not seen a single genuine one, honestly not one, they are all just pre-recorded and sitting on a server making the true definition of “passive income” for the Guru that snares you to watch it, if only one or two out of the hundreds that go on to watch it sign up for the equally pre-recorded course then that is possibly as much as 2 or 3 k every hour and a half of nearly every day, not bad for spending a couple of hours making a video.
- Anybody that starts by saying this not a get rich quick scheme – if they don’t have enough respect for their potential audience to think that they already know that, then it is simply a pathetic attempt to make you think they are being genuine.
There are more, people claiming to make millions each week but sitting in their mums basement on a cheap webcam, bundles of cash lying around a crappy office that looks like it is falling down, or when you can just see the edge of the green screen that the Lamborghini is being CGI’d in with.
And for the ones that have got the money, I would love to know if they made their millions before or after they filmed the courses, you see it really isn’t that difficult, and the course content for the most part is simply, find something to sell, create and advert, put it in front of customers and make money, you then wrap a lot of screenshots and lengthy vague explanation around it all tied up with a disclaimer and you are good to go, price it at an outrageous price but offer it for half that and of course there are limited places because of the demand and that they want to retain the integrity of the system.
So the Money Making System ?
Simple, have a think, come up with a plan no matter how insane or unlikely to succeed and document it either with an ebook (easy to sell) or a YouTube channel and charge as much as you want for it, spend a little on advertising and it’s all good.
This may all sound a little bitter but I have spent an inordinate amount of time going down these various rabbit holes and I actually resent it, after all it’s my time, and I am trying to create more of it not piss it away listening to these snake oil salesmen, and to be honest I could have spent it learning skills or creating a business that can actually grow, I will be removing the advert for the video watching because it is worthless and I hope that this blog at least stops somebody from giving time or money to these parasites.
Main Photo by Sebastiaan Stam from Pexels