How can you expect others to love and respect you if you do not love and respect yourself ? so many people walk around with their heads down staring at the pavement, feeling so down on an aspect of themselves that they are almost apologetic.
I am not talking about whether we take pictures of ourselves on Instagram to prove we are not ashamed of an increased waistline, or we stand next to an expensive car and take a sneaky selfie to prove to our followers that we have money, I am talking about how our inner dialogues create such whirlwinds of thought and emotion that it spills out into the ether and taints the way people deal with us.
Ask your self this, if you were going to have surgery and the surgeon came out and was mumbling, seemed a little restless and when asked a direct question about the surgery he/she was uncertain and spoke quietly and ambiguously, would you be happy about having them operate on you? No of course not, because they aren’t sure of their own ability and therefore you cannot trust that when it comes to it they will make the right and timely decisions needed, you do not trust them.
This example translates to any area of life, sure people are accepting of the quiet shy type, and some people will hire somebody who barely makes themselves heard at an interview, but the best things in life are NOT free my friend and are reserved for those that go out and get them, I guarentee that when you are sat hiding away in an interview the person who owns that company is loud enough to be heard, noticeable and determined beyond the belief of those around her/him that their business is the best and it will succeed.
5 Steps to success
- Make everyday a good day, I literally caught myself saying, crikey it’s Monday tomorrow and moaning about it earlier today, Monday boys and girls is the start of the week it is a day to earn another pound / dollar and should be treated as such, it is also the beginning of another week that you can use to better yourself, and make moves to get away from whatever you don’t like about your life now, it is also officially the day that puts last week in the past, so you get a clean slate and the ability to learn from the last weeks failures to make next week even better, so really Monday is an awesome day.
- If you feel like shit, ask yourself why, do you not like the way you look? do something about it, any little change can have a massive improvement in self-confidence and self-confidence sells, so maybe you have had your hair a certain way for years just because that is the way it has always been, so change it pick something new and go with it, if you feel miserable the people you interact with will also start to feel miserable, how often have you heard “I love hanging out with Dave he is so miserable I almost cry” just doesn’t happen, make yourself happy and it will rub off on others, careful not to go too far as confidence can go sour and become arrogance which brings me nicely to my next point.
- Treat others as you would want to be treated, always be respectful and never drag anybody down for anything, and I mean that, if somebody looks like shit and they ask for your honest opinion then give it, if they do not then it really is none of your business, if a situation is being made difficult by one person be the voice of reason and it will shine through, remember that these situations are very rarely personal, especially in a work environment, people are so scared of losing their jobs these days that they will shout loud and long at anybody who will listen just to try and get noticed, I am not saying shy away, simply do not lose your temper and make sure that everybody knows your opinion and do not gloat when you are proved right, this also works in reverse if you were wrong you end up with measurably less egg on your face.
- Remember that you should never apologise for who or what you are, again I am not talking about shoving your insecurities in peoples faces just simply live your life for you and not for the opinions of others, this means doing things how you want to do it, because this is all about inner confidence it should never be about outward conformity for conformity sake, there is a lot to be said for true individualism, you are an individual and should be proud of that.
- And lastly work hard, work harder than anybody else, pick up what you are doing and finish it, the second part of that is just as important as the starting, a project, no matter how grand is not worth a penny if it is just an idea on a piece of paper or a half made model or nearly finished email list.
No matter what your goal, be it employee of the month or business owner of the year being happy and comfortable with who you are is the most important qualification, because in the tough times when you don’t feel like getting up and going to work the only person there is you, when the business is having a down time and you need to make certain changes to fix it the only person there is you, so list what it is you want to be and then start making the changes to get there.